Self Improvement

Are you running on empty? Going through day after day of what feels like meaningless activities that take up all your time and energy? Everywhere you look there is a fire that needs to be put out? One demand after another from others? Do you feel that you have lost the real you? Is your life full of "should" and "have tos"?

Check out yourself talk and your underlying belief system. If something goes wrong, do you automatically tell yourself you are to blame? Do you tell yourself you are homely, stupid, fat, or whatever negative description comes into your mind at the moment? Do you believe you are not smart enough, deserving enough or good enough for the "good things" in life? Do you tell yourself and others how tired you are, how nothing is working out, how everyone treats you badly, how life is not fair, how stressed you are? If you do make a mistake, do you brood on how awful you were? Do you assume the worse from any circumstance?

Do you frequently compare yourself to others and always come out lacking?
Look carefully at your relationships or lack of relationships. Do you have family and friends you supply you with unconditional respect and love? Or do you live your life fearing disapproval from those close to you? Are you lonely and believe that you are never going to find that "soul mate" that will make your life happy? Do you believe that you need someone or something else to make you happy? Are you a people pleaser or are you able to be who you truly are?

Is your home environment cluttered and messy instead of orderly and serene? Does your "To Do" list have so many unfinished projects on it that you'll never complete them all even if you live to be 150? Or do you operate without a "To Do" list and have commitments stored in your brain where they are often forgotten which causes even more stress for you? Are you plagued by financial problems?

OK. Enough of this doom and gloom! It is time to take personal responsibility for your life at this minute. Your choices and the resulting actions you have made in the past have created your life the way it is today. Only by changing your choices and actions can you create a different life tomorrow. You do HAVE THE POWER to create the life of your dreams- just plan your choices instead of continuing to follow the path of least resistance. Stop reacting to life and proactively go after the life of YOUR dreams. Decide today that you are going to start using your time in more meaningful ways that make a difference in your life. Decide that you will stop blaming outside influences and take 100% responsibility for how you are living your life.

To begin creating a LIFE REINVENTION or LIFE MAKEOVER: do some self discovery exercises and determine what your most important values are. Family, career, a passion for art, having security in the form of lots of money, being given the respect of others, being honest and caring- what are your personal values? You can find lists of 100s of potential values to choose from by browsing on the web. Daydream about what activities would create your ideal day. Just remember that you cannot design your dream life until you understand what you truly value and what is most important to you in life.

Do a life inventory in the areas of self, family, friends, career, hobbies, finances, spiritual activities, health, entertainment, and your home/environment. Feel free to add other areas of your life to this inventory list. In your life inventory determine all the things that are right with your life (you are able to walk and talk, right) and what things need change or improvement. The amount of change and improvement you can achieve is directly related to the amount of effort and commitment (maybe even some sacrifice) you are willing to put forth. Accept that there are no shortcuts, no magic pill or "secret" to achieving your dreams.

Make a list of what you need for your dream life. Do you need to improve current relationships or find new relationships? Are you looking for a specific type of person that would be your "soul mate"? Will you need to change careers or improve where you are in your current career. Do you need to learn better financial management? Are their new skills you need to learn? Do you need to pay off debts? Do you want to look for your dream house? Along with each thing on your list for your dream life, determine what you need to achieve it. To attract a certain type of person you need to become the kind of a person they would be attracted to. To improve your current relationships you might need to read some books on relationships, see a marriage counselor or other therapist or a life or relationship coach. For a different career you might need more education. For your dream house you might need to save some money for a down payment. You get the idea.

You MUST write all this out. Trying to keep it all in your head will not work. If you're not willing to take the time to write your plan out, you must not want it very badly. You cannot change everything at once. So choose one area that you feel will make the biggest difference in your life and start with that. Start with the final result and write that as your goal. For instance- I will climb the corporate ladder from stock boy to assistant manager in one year. Then make a list of the steps that will take you from where you are now to your goal. You may have to do some research or get some help to determine exactly what you need to know. You may have to learn some new skills along the way. Keep your plan open to revision, most goal setting plans need to be revised one you start your action plan. As you move along your plan make note of what seems to be working and what is now so that you can do more of what IS working and less of what IS NOT working. You must write all this down for it to make sense. When we write something down, both our intuitive and creative right brain along with our logical Dr. Spock left brain.

As you begin working your plan, you may find obstacles in the form of negative reactions from other people or even from your own fears. You must work on controlling negative self talk, emotions and thoughts. The Law of Attraction says that whatever you believe and think about will happen. So think positive thoughts and turn off the negative thoughts. Find someone, maybe a friend or a life coach, to help keep your motivation high. When obstacles occur, tell yourself they are temporary and ask yourself what lessons you can learn from them. Understand that you will never be finished with your life makeover because each time you successfully make one change to improve your life it will be time to begin making another change.

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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You are welcome to reprint my article on your web site, your newsletter or a message board. Just please include this information-?2010 Sharon Ball, Life and Wellness Coach. Get your free report Begin Reinventing Yourself Today at: http://www.reinventingyourselftoday.com