On Monday, January 31 Categories:


Commuting is one of those things that, if you are doing it, is something that you have to do rather than want to do. And if you have a negative attitude about your commute, it can quickly turn into something that starts to impact more than just the time you spend commuting.

Your attitude about the commute can carry into work, home, and play. When you arrive at work already in an agitated state, you?ll need a cooling off period or your productivity will be lowered. Time is wasted preparing for the commute itself, either by having to hype yourself up or by dragging yourself down. It can also take its toll of your health, whether it is from increased stress or weight gain. Needless to say, commuting takes away from time that you would rather spend on other activities.

Wouldn?t it be nice if you actually looked forward to your commute? It may seem overwhelming to try to picture the commute in a different way, but there are resources out there to help commuters change their perspective and even turn the commute into something positive and productive.

Following a simple program and making small changes is a great way to start turning your commute into a better experience. Programs are good because they provide structure and activities to see you through the needed steps and help you to understand
why the commute affects you adversely and how to change it.

One of the first things to do is think about what it is that drains you about the commute? Is it the time, the crowds, being away from home, fears and risks associated with traveling, or simply the boredom? In order to revert back to a time before the stress of the commute got hold of you, you first need to articulate what about the commute is draining. Then you need to do something about it.

Think of the commute as a tool that allows you to live your life in a better way. For example, instead of saying:

?I hate driving all the way to work. I wish I could retire. What?s the use of having a nice house when I don?t have any time to spend in it??

You could say: ?I commute to work so that I may live where I choose. In this way, I get the best of both worlds, a good paycheck and a good home. I even get to use my commute time in a way that increases my health and wellbeing.?

Figure out what drains you, then you can act on that and move forward to help make your commute a positive force in your life.


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If you have difficulties with your speech, you are not alone. Latest figures state that over one percent of people in the UK suffer with a stutter or stammer. This article describes the effects that stuttering can have on a persons life.

I am somebody who has overcome a stutter or what some people call a stammer that had basically ruined my life for eighteen years. Stuttering affects people in different ways, however these were the aspects of life I found difficult:

Introducing people

Ordering food or drinks

Speaking on the telephone

Attending interviews

Trying to attract a girlfriend

Socialising with friends or family

In general the stutter made me accept second best in life and made life a huge struggle. I found stuttering a disability and was forever looking for ways at beating the stutter.

People who knew me including family and friends were not really aware of how the stutter affected my life and were quite shocked when I eventually told them.

I attended speech therapy from the age of four or five. My attitude was possibly not what it should have been, in my own mind I always believed that they could not truly understand what I was going through as thay themselves had never had a stutter. The therapy included group and one-to-one treatment and lots of advice to speak slowly and to take deep breaths.

I never accepted that I would have the speech impediment for life and aged twenty-two decided that I would attempt to achieve fluency. I was very lucky as I had superb support from my family and friends. This was vital as these were the people I spent hours practicing the techniques I had learnt.

I spent about six months working out the techniques and it took another five months to make these techniques a natural part of my speech.

As a career I now help other people to achieve fluency by running one to one speech courses which are based in Birmingham. People leave the course with a dvd and a written booklet which act as a reminder of what to do. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me at info@stammering-stuttering.co.uk


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In the 1960s most Ivy League universities didn't even admit women, and even when they began opening their doors, those females who managed to excel ended up slamming into a concrete wall like Wiley Coyote. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, for example, graduated Columbia Law School tied for the number one spot in her class, but was initially denied the prestigious judicial positions she would have automatically been afforded had she been a man. No one even questioned this inequity, because it was then unthinkable for a woman to occupy such a powerful position. Ginsburg, however, ultimately conquered the concrete wall and was appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Even as female acceptances into prestigious universities and companies increased, women now hit a new obstacle. By 1986, we had discovered the glass ceiling, a phrase coined by two Wall Street Journal reporters who found that women with professional credentials (law degrees, medical licenses, and MBAs) were invited into the big offices, but not really allowed to participate. These women looked up and saw their potential, but couldn't break through the ceiling holding them back from the higher rungs of the corporate ladder.

Even today, as women make strides in breaking through the glass ceiling and entering into management roles, we now see women's role in the workplace as a labyrinth. When walking the maze of the workplace, it's not a simple, direct path; you enter in one direction and then backtrack, struggling to progress. Though a few maneuver it successfully, many cannot. Like the labyrinth, visible barriers that impede female progress are obscured from public view. In many cases, these barriers have their roots in traditional views of gender roles. Women are seen as either too hard or too soft, never just right. If they are competent, they aren't likable, and if they are likable, they certainly can't be competent. Women have little margin for error and face criticism from all directions.

To obtain the keys to the executive bathroom, women must network, seek out mentors, and play up their individual strengths. They can't just deny their natural attributes and copy the men, or they run the risk of just becoming generic cola; instead, we need to become the "Uncola" and take advantage of what we already have. That means using the best of feminine energy.

The women at Best Buy are a good example: they convinced their company to measure the quality of their work, rather than the quantity. Feminine energy favors taking one's time to produce quality work, in contrast with the masculine energy mindset that stresses efficiency and numbers. By insisting on the wisdom of the feminine energy approach, they were able to use their natural skills to get ahead in the workplace. The Best Buy women followed up on their success by forming a Woman's Leadership Forum (WOLF) built upon three pillars: commitment to the business and to each other, networking with a diverse group of employees, and giving time to support girls in the community by building leadership skills.

These women demonstrated good Gender Physics when they recognized the natural conflict between maintaining quality and increasing production. Initially, masculine energy criteria measured these women's actions and found them lacking. The women, however, eventually won recognition for their strength in producing a quality product. When forming WOLF, they were sure to use masculine energy by placing their commitment to the business at the top of the list. After all, the company's success is the ultimate goal and reason for being. But they then used their cooperative feminine energy by empowering women through networking, mentorship, and service.

Learning from the example of the women at Best Buy, we see that good Gender Physics is the key for women's progress in the workplace. I have first-hand experience with women who exhibit good Gender Physics. They are proactive in creating opportunities for themselves by taking on challenges and seeking greater responsibilities, and they have the courage to dive in and take on difficult portfolios and contentious issues. Successful females aren't restrained by the fact that they lack the single-minded resolve of masculine energy; rather, they harness feminine energy to assist female colleagues by sharing their wisdom, experience, and contacts. Such women refer business to other women, recommend them for board positions, and support their causes. They've found a way to succeed that doesn't involve completely surrendering to the masculine energy approach.

Letting these energies flow back and forth brings strength, confidence and success. It's a model for us all, and I hope that more women embrace Gender Physics as they navigate the business world.


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After a highly successful career in business, including 26 years with PotashCorp where she was Senior Vice-President, Betty-Ann retired in 2007, the same year that she was named to Canada's Most Powerful Women: Top 100 Hall of Fame?. She now works as a speaker, author and mentor and is committed to using her personal and professional experiences to inspire and empower other women. A firm believer in the value women bring to organizations, Betty-Ann explores changing perceptions of male and female roles including candid observations about what she calls "Good Gender Physics" on her blog at http://www.stillettochick.com. She helps both men and women understand the primary energy of their gender but also accept and appreciate the strengths of their opposite.

On Sunday, January 30 Categories:

Have you noticed all the 'new year, new you' marketing messages?

Before you send away for a years supply of a slimming drink, 12 months membership to the gym, a 'Hip, Bum and Tums' implement of torture from a dodgy shopping channel, get yourself a cup of your favourite brew, sit down and let us talk.

The New Year is now well under way, how is the new you part coming along? Are you now going through the annual ritual of self-punishment and loathing as your resolutions have become a distant memory, put on the back burner for another 12 months?

The coming of a New Year does carry an outstanding amount of hope, optimism and freshness (psychologically the use of the word 'new' being a leading contributor, let's leave language and triggers for another day).

Is it because the 1st of January is the only day of the year when we're fully aware, present and paying attention to the passing of our clock time, is that why we become melancholy and introspective about it?

When you're celebrating are you conscious about the hands on the clock and join the chorus of "half an hour to go, ten minutes, five minutes, 20 seconds, 10, 9, 8…Happy New Year!" Is there another time in the year you do this?

Some people who realise that their time is indeed passing set about creating for themselves little life instructions. They choose the beginning of a new year to resolve problems or find solutions to lifetime habits.

Now, I'm not belittling resolutions it's the 'done once a year' part that I've got a bee in my bonnet with. I applaud the act of resolving problems, goal setting, and planning. I congratulate and I'm always in awe of an individual who is willing and committed to spending more time thinking about their life than they do planning a two-week holiday every year.

We all have unlimited potential to create a life of our own choosing, more than we could possibly need in an entire lifetime. Yet New Year resolutions don't cut it - for at least 95% of people who set them! The person declaring 'I'm giving up smoking' or 'I'm going to be thin' or 'I'll find the perfect partner', backed by airy fairy, wishy washy thinking may find they are done, failed and dusted by the 5th of January.

However, if they had started out strong, with a clearly defined plan plus a desire to break through all and every barrier that could be thrown in their way. Like a ninja or warrior armed to the teeth with ideas, creativity, commitment, solutions, determination, drive and prepared to sweat really hard they may still be going strong half way through January.

If they had resolved to be full of resolve!

Here's a thought, does it really doesn't matter what day of the year it is for us to resolve that the past has gone and that we have 365 daily opportunities for creating and carving a new way of life. That every day we wake up breathing, we can make things happen or not.

New Year, New You messages to me are great from a marketing perspective, tapping into the vulnerability market. New Year, New Habits, to me, that sounds much more do-able.


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Dawn Barclay is a Trainer, Speaker and Coach and assists ordinary individuals to lead extraordinary lives, at work and play. She has delivered numerous personal development programmes to individuals, groups and teams. For further resources on building your confidence and self esteem go now to dawnbarclay

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The first step to using hypnosis in lucid dreaming or "dream control" begins with remembering your dreams. A key point to consider is that everybody dreams. You may not remember your dreams when you wake but in an 8 hour night of sleeping you usually have five or more dreams.

Before retiring at night take several deep breaths. Close your eyes and relax each muscle group in turn. Begine with your feet. Tense them and hold for a few seconds then release the tension and relax. Move up your body to your head until you have relaxed your entire body. Imagine that you are descending a long flight of stairs with ten steps. Breath with each step you take and repeat the word "relax". Once at the bottom imagine that you are in a tranquil setting and rest there awhile.

Now mentally tell yourself that when you awaken you will be fresh, rested, full of energy and will remember your last dream in vivid detail.

Have a pen and small book beside your bed and upon awakening immediately ask yourself, what did I dream last night? Focus on taking deep breaths. Then write down in your dream in as much detail as you can recall. This is an important step so don't overlook it!

After several days of this pratise look over your written dream accounts and look for recurring themes. I always have something to drink or some sort of drinking liquid in mine. Your "dream sign" may be different.

Now when retiring the next night go through your relaxation exercise and tell yourself that you will become aware that you are dreaming when you encounter your dream sign. Tell yourself that it is a sign that you should awaken in your dream.

Do this for several nights and you will experience a lucid dream. Remember to record your dream just after waking. Studies have shown that many people have lucid dreams then forget that they had them a short time after waking. Keeping a journal of your dream experiences keeps them fresh in your mind and trains your brain to remember them.

Don't be discouraged if you don't lucid dream at the start. This is a new skill that must be learned. If you persevere you will achieve results. Should you wish to accelerate your results you may wish to read the review of the lucid dreaming kit on the site below.


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Are you looking to strengthen your portfolio? Do you want experience in your field of study before you graduate? An internship is a great way to start your career as well as an excellent learning tool. Today, many companies are looking for interns to help them grow and help you to be a better employee when your day comes. There are 5 important skills needed to take part in interning in the professional world of sport management.

1 - People Skills
Whether it is with your boss or customers you need to have great people skills. Many jobs in sports have you interact with your fans or a customer since public relations is a must in this field. Also, sports encourage criticisms and response from their fans to keep improving. You also must be able to work well with other interns or coworkers to plan, build, and work together since many internships have you working, planning or managing events with others. As a represent of your company you must be able to handle yourself in public settings as an accurate role model for them.

2- Writing Skills
Many internship programs require you to write articles or blog about events the company runs, future promotions, etc. The written word is one of their main ways to connect and be seen by the public. The ability to write, clearly and detailed, will increase your opportunities to getting any internship.

3- Technology Skills
It is important in today's world to know and understand technology. Many companies are now using social networking and media to promote or advertise. Also the ability to use common programs such as Excel, PowerPoint, and Word, are important as an intern and will only help you in the future.

4- Critical Thinking Skills
As an intern you must be able to think and learn fast. Many times a job is given to you with little help and a short deadline. Also it is common for problems to arise at events and the ability to think quickly and clearly is the key to fix any situation.

5 - Personal Skills
As a person looking to be an intern you must make sure you are organized, self-motivated, and be ready and willing to take on any task given to you. You must also be prepared to spend long hours working but realize not only is it benefiting the company but also yourself.

The use of these skills together will allow you to be a great intern as well as future employee. Internships are a growing requirement for jobs and the ability to access your skills and work on them can help anyone ensure the future opportunity of an internship and the many opportunities that can follow.


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The methods used to help a person quit smoking are as varied as smokers themselves. Some people find that they can quit smoking just by will power alone, going cold turkey and butting out forever. Others may find that in order to stop smoking they may have to enlist the help of others in the form of a support group or other network. Others turn to methods such as the patch or some types of chewing gum. As cultures begin to merge, however, there are more and more medical practices that have previously been unknown to Western science that may have many benefits to those who wish to stop smoking. Some of these alternative methods are discussed in this article.

Acupuncture: Acupuncture originated in China. It is the practice of inserting long, thin needles into various acupuncture points on the body, which is said to restore mental health and well being. As with many Far East ideas, acupuncture is concerned with restoring balance as a whole, rather than applying the health theories of the West to any one assigned area. The piercing points are areas which help to shock the body back into a healthy balance. Acupuncture is highly debated in medical circles, and studies have never conclusively proven that it is an effective treatment for anything at all. However, many patients who have undergone this treatment sweat by its results, and thus it may indeed be an effective tool when it comes to the battle to quit smoking. Addiction, after all, is in part a mental affliction, and thus if a patient believes that a treatment is working then it is possible that it is doing so. Additionally, acupuncture has been demonstrated to assist in the release of endorphins, the full effects of which on the body as a whole are still unknown to some degree.

Hypnosis: Another method that many smokers try to use when attempting to quit is hypnosis. It is vital that hypnosis be understood in its rightful context, rather than the societal myth. Hypnosis works along the same lines as subliminal messaging; by applying the power of suggestion to a subject who is concentrating on another matter, it is possible to affect the thinking processes of the brain. In this way, hypnosis can be used to curb the cravings that come with nicotine addiction and often lead the smoker to relapse.

There are also several changes to lifestyle that can be made in order to increase the amounts of dopamine found within the body. Dopamine is the active ingredient in Zyban, and levels of dopamine can be increased through a higher protein intake, stress reduction, and by taking vitamins and herbs such as Indian ginseng and magnesium.

Despite these methods and there levels of success, however, it is important to note that the key ingredient when it comes to smoking cessation is will power. No matter which other method you choose to assist you in ending the cravings and lessening the physical symptoms of withdrawal, sooner or later it is going to come down to your ability to say no to a cigarette that will ensure the end of the habit?s hold on your life.


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On Saturday, January 29 Categories:


It?s only a couple of weeks into the New Year and all those goals and resolutions you wanted for yourself are already slipping away. One of two things is happening: Either you simply never got started, or you?re running out of steam.

Not getting started is common. Even with all the great enthusiasm and excitement we had about the year, the diversion of the holidays and then just trying to get back into our normal routines didn?t allow us to incorporate our new goals into our old schedules. The goals we initially set now seem too difficult to know where to start. Simply put, we are busy and distracted by the overall tasks of our lives. Don?t worry. There is always ?tomorrow? or next year.

The other common element to resolution failure is burn out. It is comically predictable, but have you ever noticed the level of activity the first week of January? Go to any gym and you will see it packed. In fact, January 1st and 2nd are two of the busiest days in gym attendance. Weight loss groups, dating sites, financial planners, career advisors, and support groups all report high activity the first week of January.

Everyone wants to get in shape, lose weight, meet someone, get a better job, save money, quit smoking, quit drinking and more. So we start out the year no holds barred and go for it! Unfortunately the results we want don?t come as fast as our initial enthusiasm and when we don?t see quick changes we lose our motivation. As the weeks go by the crowds disappear and soon everything is back to normal activity levels as we all slip back into our routines. Then we stay there until another failed attempt next January. The result is that 2006 will be yet another year you failed to achieve the changes you wanted.

The New Year motivates us to start, but we need to develop a habit of successful behavior. As Jim Ryan put it, ?Motivation is what gets us started. Habit is what keeps us going.?

You can develop success habits and remedy lack of or diminished motivation with a life coach technique called ?ABC.?

A = Action. Start taking action today. We don?t achieve change through thinking about it, but by doing something.

B = Bite size. Reduce all your new activities to small daily actions. It truly is amazing how doing something small doesn?t overwhelm us and produces amazing results. When we take on too much we either don?t start or can?t keep it up. Work out 10 minutes a day; send out one resume a day, save a little money every day and the results will materialize over time.

C = Consistency. Through the accumulation of small actions, we get big results. Do your bite size action activities daily!

We all want big changes, but literally think about the change in your pocket. We have all taken our daily change and placed it in a container of some sort. Before long, that pile of nickels and dimes had grown to several dollars. If you want to produce real changes, concentrate on the ABC Success Habits. Get into action today with small bite size activities consistently and before you know it, you?ll be going to the bank at the end of 2006 with a sizable deposit of results.


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It is a human nature to get sleepy especially during afternoon while mostly is in the office and off course it is not good to feel sleepy at work.

Here are some simple tips that you could try to prevent sleepiness at work or maybe just even to minimize it.

1. Get more hours of sleep the night before.

This may seem an easy solution but most of us fail to do this. We always have the tendency of staying late at night doing a lot of stuff. Experts always remind us that our body needed seven or eight hours of sleep every day, though some may already survived with just five or six. But how could we fight the habit of staying late every night? You have to give your body a signal to start shutting down. Try reading or even watching TV in bed. In time then your body will get used to certain routine and you will start falling asleep early. Also try drinking tea or warm milk near bedtime.

2. Don't eat too much.

Eating too full especially during lunch time will definitely make you sleepy. Also, avoid eating too much meat as well as foods with lots of sugar and fat. Just eat a light snack, foods with a bit of whole grains and some protein is best.

3. Sip a cup of coffee

This will give you your caffeine kick when you need it most. Drinking cold coffee is more effected drinking it hot. But in case that you're not a coffee fan, you could try other caffeine based drinks or energy drinks.

4. Get up and stretch.

Staying in your desk for long period of time will make you tired. So get up two or three times a day to stretch and walk a bit. If your office area will allow, try to reach, bend and touch your toes, or even get good beat music and dance as crazy as possible to keep blood in your body flowing and will make you awake.

5. Socialize with colleagues.

During breaks, try to step away from your desk and go converse with your colleagues and supervisors. But try to keep the conversation still work-related and as professional as possible. These will not only stays you awake but this could also make your relationship with them stronger.

These steps will not only prevent you from being sleepy during work but this would also help you keep your job. Being caught sleeping during office hours is not a pro for the employers you know.


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It would be nice to think that the companies on the leading edge of work/life balance programs are simply being good citizens and doing the right thing! But, the fact is that these programs make good business sense.

In addition to increased productivity and employee satisfaction, companies can retain valuable employees in a competitive environment, and attract new employees with these programs.

Every generation in the workforce today reports that work and life balance is one of the top issues for them and that they want to work in a company that supports their desire to have more balance in their life.

Whatever the reason for the movement, we should be glad it is upon us.

Who are the companies with programs, what do the programs look like and what results have they achieved?

You might be surprised to know that these companies cut across all industries in the private and the public sector. Here are some examples of program components:

Elder care programs consisting of resources directories, counseling, elder care services and educational services

Expanded telecommuting and `telework? programs that allow employees to work from home or other locations

Part-time and job sharing positions for employees come off disability or recovering from health problems, or for parents who wish to spend time at home with their children or with aging parents

Fully accredited child care centers in or near the workplace

Babies in the Workplace programs that allow a child to remain with a parent in the workplace until the age of six months or whenever the child starts to crawl.

Alternative work schedules and FlexTime work schedules that allow employees to work hours other than 9:00 to 5:00 in order to better meet their personal needs

Family Advocacy Programs held at lunch-time on managing personal finances, parenting, stress management, anger management and elder care issues.

Outdoor recreation, walking paths and fitness equipment for employee use during and after work. Some companies even provide grills, row boats and other equipment for employee family use.

Support groups for elder care, new fathers, holistic health, spousal abuse, single parents, adoptive parents, parents of teenagers parents of blended or merged families, caregivers, and grandparents raising grandchildren alone.

Nursing Mother Rooms for breastfeeding moms

Enforced scheduling and use of vacation and personal days to ensure that the employees takes time off from work

Cross-training in positions to ensure coverage so that employees can take time off without the company suffering

These are just some of the examples of programs in government agencies, hotels, banks, corporations and union environments around the country.

Human Resource Management companies and universities study the effects of these programs and publish reports to support and encourage their growth. And the really dedicated companies keep finding new ways to encourage balance.

In many cases, this effort still has to trickle down into the company. Older managers or those supervisors who feel they are being shortchanged on work may frown upon these initiatives and studies find that programs put in place without adequate manager and employee training rarely have the same impact as a program that includes communication via seminars, training, written manuals and frequent follow-up.

If your company wants to start a work/life balance program, you can contact a consulting company that provides analysis and planning services to get you started, or you can look to some of the publications out there online or in written form for self-paced program implementation.

Here are some links to get you started:

http://www.simpleliving.net/timeday/links.asp
http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/business.php
http://www.workfamily.com/Open/ElevenStepsPage.asp
http://www.workfamily.com/Vendors/WorkLifeVendors.asp

A simple internet search will give you more options. Whether you are an employee, frustrated with overwork, a manager who wants to create a more supportive environment, or a company trying to get more information on these programs, the search is worthwhile.

Work/Life Programs benefit the company by increasing productivity and focus on the job, reducing job turnover and increasing employee satisfaction. Employees will miss less time from work, because they will not be sick as often.
Families will be more supportive of the employee?s job and company choice because they know the company supports the employee?s personal needs, and their efforts to sustain good health and to manage stress.

If your company does not have a Work/Life Program in place, ask your manager about starting one. See if you can get a grass roots movement going!

If you are in a position to influence the company?s decision or you have the power to decide on a Work/Life Program, don?t wait. Contrary to what you may think you won?t lose money or time on this program. Instead, your company will run better and you will find it easier to attract and retain good employees. You will get a lot of support and good press from your employees and your managers, alike - and your company may even end up in one of those University Case Studies. A role model for others to follow!


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For most people they are just living life as it is. They're at the mercy of what happens to them; they hate their job, hate their spouse and while away time feeling sad.

Then there are those who design there life's to be just how they want it. I call them the "Orgasmic Lifestyle Designer" Here's a quick post I whipped up about how to be an Orgasmic lifestyle designer...

1. Profit from your passion
2. Outsource what's holding you back from aim high
3. Read "The 4 Hour Work Week" and "The E-myth". To help you live freely within your passion
4. Take sometime off to realign
5. Systemizing everything in your life frees up time
6. Create your business around your life, not your life around your business
7. Define achievable goals and take action. An orgasm usually happens in the middle of massive chaos
8. Surround yourself with successful people
9. Get clear on your values and make sure your work is in line with your values.
10. Appreciate those that support you
11. Love what you do
12. Ignore setbacks
13. Upgrade your life
14. Immerse yourself in studying into full understanding
15. Read the blog you're currently reading on a regular basis
16. Read Timothy Ferris's blog on a regular basis four hour work week blog
17. No one will fault you for trying your best! If they do, fuck em!
18. Fight tooth and nail for what you want but first decide that you want it
19. Don't waste valuable time on things that are not adding value to you and your business.
20. Not what you stand for and make sure your work is in line with what you stand for.
21. Spend most of your time developing your business. These are the task that helps move your business forward.
22. Spend some time working on your marketing skills. These are the skills you will need to help you get more clients. Remember no clients, no business, and no money
23. Be willing to have uncomfortable conversations with others
24. Persuasion is the key. Read 'Influence' by Robert Cialdini, to master the real secret.
25. Take time to time out. Take regular time off.26. Batch process some tasks as often as possible. Like email, phone calls etc
27. Meditate and visualize you way to what you want in life
28. To move your business forward and reach a great high of success, you need to get out of our comfort zone. So step out regularly.
29. We are what the first people in our life are, so creating relationships with people whose life you enjoy and people who you would help you achieve your dream.
30. Understand that there are three kinds of business in life. Your business, other peoples business and life's business. Your business is your thoughts and actions. Other peoples business is their thoughts and actions. Life's business is things like the weather and the traffic. Focus only on YOUR business, because it's the only thing that matters, the other stuff you can't control so don't worry about it
31. Write your goals down, focus on them, and be present in the moment, since it's all we really have
32. Accept that you are wrong when you are wrong, and make things right... especially when other people are involved.
33. Quite trying to be someone else. No one can be like you and that the most authentic thing you can give others.
34. Spend 100% of your doing what you truly enjoy
35. Realize its ok not to be perfect. Just step out and get something out there. We all learn from your mistakes. Next time you'll make it better.
36. No matter what. Don't give up.
37. Be The Expert
38. When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade
39. Own the stage and speak about what you do
40. Just do it.
41. Today is life - the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto. - Dale Carnegie


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Want to use this article on your website or your own ezine? No problem! But here's what you MUST include: Joyce Oladipo, The Business Growth & Marketing Mentor, is founder of The Wealthy Entrepreneur System?, the proven step-by-step program that shows you exactly how to make more money and grow your business, in record time...guaranteed. To get your F.R.E.E. Audio CD by mail and receive her weekly business growth & marketing articles on getting more high-paying clients and dramatically increasing your income, visit http://www.JoyceOladipo.com.

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Being single is not synonymous with being lonely, and how one perceives being single affects how they feel without a romantic partner. Discover ways to be positive while single withthoughtful advice from a licensed psychologist in this free video on self-help. Expert: Bernice B. Bernhard, Ph.D Contact: www.bernicebbernhardphd.com Bio: Bernice B. Bernhard, Ph.D, has been a New York State licensed psychologist since 1973. Filmmaker: Paul Muller
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Money is not root of all evil; rather the lack of money is the root of most evil. Why is life expectancy lower in poor countries? Life expectancy means the number of years you are expected to live under normal circumstances. When you check the life expectancy in different countries you will realize that it is a direct reflection of the economic situation. The circumstance that kill people in underdeveloped countries do not kill easily in developed countries.

Sometimes we should carry more emphasis on curing poverty than caring sickness, because many diseases are cause by poverty. Money is not the root of evil. There are a lot of good things money can do. Money puts good food on your table, clothes on your back, clothes on your children, your spouse, and a good house to live in. Money is a defense. The bible says so

Nothing will take the place of money in the area in which money works. Money is good. It was discovered in the united state that over 50% of divorce cases is a direct result of money problems money does many good things.

We should correct the mind set- that people who have money are evil when you believe that there are good people who have good money, you will be one of them.

Money is neither good nor bad; it is neither in moral nor moral, It is amoral. It is amoral. It takes on the character of the person who has it.

Also settle this in your mind about money: you deserve to be rich. Money is not the exclusive reserve of some people. The fact that you have found it difficult to get it does not mean you are not entitled to it. So don't knock yourself out or write yourself off, it is important that you keep your self -esteem and call yourself what God has called you. You are not inferior and you deserve to be financially blessed.

There is another mind-set to develop. There is no shortage of money anywhere, shortage is artificial. Some people want to keep their domination over every body and so create artificial scarcity, but know that there is nothing God created that can ever be in short supply. God is a God of abundance and everything he created is in abundance.

He has the potential for everything. If you want something and ask for it, he will give it to you. If he does not have it at that time, He will create it for you. Everything was created in abundance.

There is no shortage of money anywhere. Once you believe there is an abundance of it, you will see it. It is because people do not believe it is in abundance that is why they do not see it.

God wants you to prosper, believe it.

"The spirit of the lord is upon me, for He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor" Luke4:17.

The first problem Jesus declared He was sent to solve was that of poverty. You should note that. He said His anointing was first to solve the problem of poverty, then sickness and emotional bondage.

It is high on God's mind that you prosper and be blessed.


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Article by Irabor Mark
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How would you like to live a life with the freedom to think without worrying over everyday problems? Would you enjoy the integrity to uphold your status, believes, etc by saying no without feeling stress.
Would you like to enjoy a clear goal, which you set based on your understood wants.
You know by now how to reach for those goals.
Would you like to boost energy that helps you to focus on you and what your future holds? Do you see a balance in your life that helps you to clearly see your needs? Do you focus your attention on those needs? Do you have your rights in perspective, giving you the freedom to make your own decisions based on your choices? Do you see an exciting future that is well planned to bring you to self-improvement? You can achieve each part named in this article by taking a few steps to improve your personal life.
You have many options in life that gives you the chance to make good decisions.
The decisions you make make your life either miserable or brightening.
It is up to you to make the necessary changes that bring you rewards.
When you consider your personal lifestyle, you should take in consideration that this involved you human overall existence as well as your everyday moves.
You have personal decisions and choices that contribute to your own individuality.
You have options to coach, or find coaches that lead you to success, or you have counsel that will guide you to a successful way of living.
Life is based on survival, which includes nutrition, exercise, and living without addictions.
You also need shelter to uphold survival.
Personal improvement also consists of job.
It is your personal decision as to what job you want to seek, yet if you work at a place of employment that does not back your survival needs, and does not make you happy, you are not improving your personal life.
For this reasons you, want to evaluate your job.
Does your job make you feel happy? Do you produce enough cash flow to stay afloat? Does your job provide you the survival kit you need to live happily? If you answered no, what can you do to find a job that gives you advantages? You want to look at the whole pie.
If you lack skills to obtain a job that fits your survival, can you return to school to gain skills to help you grow? To improve your personal life you will also need to consider self-awareness.
Do you see yourself in many lights, or standing in one position? Use your self-awareness tool to pull up resources that assist you with improving your life.
For instance, if you are stuck at a job that barely assists you with survival, brainstorm to find new skills or ideas that help you to make better choices.
What about self-actualization, do you have the ability to act on your own behalf, or do you rely on others to carry your load? If you answered yes, then you need to work on acting on your own behalf.
It takes you to make the necessary changes that lead you to improving your personal life.
Do you have self-fulfillment? Do you see yourself as a satisfied person? Do you feel that something is missing in your life? If you said no, then you need to evaluate your self, using self-awareness tools to find out what empty void inside you is holding you back.
If you discover the void, take steps to find fulfillment.

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On Friday, January 28 Categories:

BEYOND BUDDHA
Or...What Karma Means To Us

Many people only think of Karma in terms of the traditional Buddhist teachings. They believe Karma in this life will affect their future lives. But, Karma is affecting you day by day, and it does not matter what your intentions are.

Your own actions have already created and continue to create your future circumstances and your own actions can directly change the future for yourself. Karma. We create our own future.

You do remember the saying, "The ends justify the means." Many people think this means that as long as your intentions are good, your Karma will be good. But, in reality, the cause and effect cycle we live with is a universal law of nature. Like gravity, it does not care whether we are consciously working with it or what our "intentions" are; the law is predictable, reliable, immutable.

Some of your past decisions and actions were subconscious, or unintentional. For example, if you are broke today, you probably did not consciously decide that you wanted to become broke. Dozens of decisions and actions leading to this point in time were not conscious decisions. They were not decisions made fully informed of their consequences. But, simply because the process was subconscious and the result was unintentional, does not free us from responsibility. We did it. We have to take ownership of it.

Taking responsibility does not mean blaming yourself or feeling guilty. It just means that you acknowledge that you are now here by your own hand. Don't blame other people, your boss, your job, or your mother. That is NOT taking responsibility. Just accept the fact that you made some choices = CAUSE, and now here you are at this point in your life = EFFECT. Whether you call it Karma or the Universal Law; it is a law of nature. Like gravity you just cannot fight it. Well, you can try to fight it, but you might get hurt. Jumping off the roof with a cape on can be exciting, but the end result will always be painful.

We can actively choose to work with the law of cause and effect, or we can just continue living the same old way and take what comes. Living in ignorance so far has gotten you where you are now. If you are pleased with the results, continue on with my blessing! As for me, I want to actively supply the cause for my own future effect.

Realizing that every action will lead to a result, whether intentional or not, is the first step. You also have to spend time analyzing where you are going and how you are going to get there. Learn from the consequences of your past actions. People today have a "got to get it now" mentality. They often don't want to stop and consider all the possible directions and consequences; they just want to get to the results.

Learn to work with the law of Karma. Instead of just letting it happen, redirect yourself, reevaluate your actions and intentions, and be proactive in making change. Instead of just reacting to a situation, pause, consider your intentions and your attitude, make adjustments, rinse and repeat. If you supply the right cause, you will enjoy the right effect.


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Patricia Corcoran of Freely-Psychic.com

You can reprint this article as long as you include a link to my website: http://www.freely-psychic.com

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Alcohol dependence is a wide spread problem that affects tens of millions of people throughout the globe. There are many more additional people touched in some indirect way with the associated problems of alcoholism or dependency. There are almost as many ideas on how to recover from this mental, physical and spiritual dilemma as there are people affected by it. Many major programs such as 12 step or treatment facilities claim some degree of success by utilizing a form of ?group therapy? that focuses primarily on the mental and spiritual aspects of recovery. Although there may be some benefit to this perspective on recovery, the physical aspects are usually ignored except for abstinence from alcohol.

The disease concept has become widely accepted concerning alcoholism and is today recognized as such by the American Medical Association and the Surgeon General of the United States of America. Although the cause of alcoholism/alcohol dependency is not completely understood, many believe that it is a physiological ailment staged at the molecular level. Some believe that the alcohol affliction is an innate DNA source, citing an ?alcoholic gene?, and/or a lack of human alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH), the enzyme that is thought to catalyze alcohol oxidation. Some success has been gained from treating the disease strictly on the molecular level.

Some of the available programs that are comprehensive in nature have postulated that a single treatment program is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Detoxification is usually the first issue at hand. Many experienced in the treatment of alcohol dependence insist on this before addressing the mental or spiritual aspects of alcoholism. Herbal treatment is advised by many in the detoxification stage. Some with more severe dependency issues may have to opt for prescribed drugs to get beyond the delirium tremors. Once that hurdle is jumped, herbal treatment helps to promote a cleansing of the body. Relaxation techniques and meditation exercises have been known to reduce stress and promote good general health. Mental exercises and affirmations have been used successful by many in recovery. A change in attitude from the negative to the positive can change the very molecular interaction in the brain. Other influences, however, such as the presence of ethanol can circumvent such rearrangement. A slow steady process toward balance is recommended.

A host of ancient Chinese remedies originally focused on all three aspects of the alcohol dependence malady. Some were not so comprehensive. They addressed primary physical or psychological based aversions. Many early treatments were focused on a negative association with alcohol consumption in many different forms of "punishment" or ill feelings. Others were herbal in nature while some subscribed to a force of will approach. A search of ancient Chinese pharmacopoeias reveals many of these types of "treatments" for alcohol dependency, some dating as far back as 600 AD. The earliest of theories involved a fundamental belief that a natural balance must exist in the entire body in order to heal from any sort of illness, injury or spiritual infliction. The short explanation concerning balance is "Yin-Yang". It postulates that everything, including the body, contains opposing forces: "Yin" (negative) and "Yang" (positive). Anything in balance achieves harmony between these negative and positive forces. A by-product of the balance achieved is strength, which is in turn, used to fight any stress within the body. Of the over 7,000 herbs and roots recognized and categorized by traditional Chinese medicine, one stands head and shoulders above the rest for the treatment of alcohol dependency. It is kudzu, and it is widely used to this day.

Kudzu (Radix puerariae, root of pueraria lobata) or the flower (Flos puerariae) of Pueraria lobata, and the derived daidzin 12 is an anti-dipsotropic supplement for use in the treatment of alcohol dependency and alcoholism. For thousands of years, hangovers and cravings have been treated successfully in China by prescribing kudzu. In scientific research performed at Harvard University, the effect of diminished cravings in animals was noted in tests performed with daidzin on various animal species. David Lee, an organic chemist at Research Triangle Institute, worked with derivatives of kudzu and its influence on alcohol consumption in rats in 1991. He found that the overwhelming majority of rats tested either appeared to become disinterested in alcohol over the long term or appeared to consume less. It was also documented that the rats retained better motor coordination functions, even while under the influence of alcohol.

Although no one is quite sure how it works, its prescribed high dosages of one of Kudzu's active ingredients (puerarin) are used in China to elevate blood flow to the brain and heart. It is believed by some that this action triggers a faster natural response by the body to normalize and thus decrease the effect of craving. The dilation of heart muscles is one documented action provided which facilitates the increased flow of blood especially to the brain. Puerarin can also prevent cardiovascular damage caused by the inadequate oxygen levels associated with low blood circulation in the body. Puerarin has also been known by some sources to prevent liver damage. The powerful effective isoflavones contained in kudzu can help detoxify and balance the body toward better equilibrium and therefore improved general health. It can also help to stabilize sugar levels, which can prevent sweeping mood swings.

The treatment and ultimate recovery of alcohol dependency is a complex and delicate issue. Many experts agree that detoxification, the use of kudzu or daidzin and consequent psychological, physiological and spiritual growth is a necessary natural pathway toward recovery. A balance must be achieved through the reconciliation of positive and negative forces. Any molecular or metabolic enzymatic inconsistencies must be addressed, and a positive attitude must be gained.


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Health experts worldwide resoundingly agree that workers in all labor categories must maintain a balance between their work and social lives. The dangers of more or over work and less socializing cannot be emphasized enough especially for the Londoner. The advantages to having an active social life are many. Finding a healthy balance between our work and social lives is not always easy but some efforts towards developing that balance can assure we stay productive on the job and at the same time have a satisfying and healthy personal life.

We have all heard of the dangers of stress and overwork. But what about those of us that love to work or have to work for various reasons? There has to be more to life than working at our jobs. How do we find a balance that keeps us healthy in both these important areas of our lives? Years of research and scholarly studies from experts in the UK, London, and worldwide have found the answers to these questions.

While this article is about offering you the reader ?tips? on developing that balance, it is important to highlight the dangers any one of us can succumb to if we don?t play or socialize in addition to working.

An awareness of your stress levels or symptoms of stress can give you a hint that you need more of a social life. Indicators of stress are many but the main symptoms to watch for are:

? Migraine?s or headaches occurring more often
? Inability to concentrate
? Not wanting to get up in the morning or insomnia
? Over-tiredness
? Sudden mood swings not normal for you
? Isolation from friends and family

The last bullet point mentions isolation. Isolating activities such as going to work and sitting at home every night, avoidance of friends and family and taking in little social outings/activities are probably the single most dangerous thing we can do for our physical and mental health. Our physical and emotional states of well being depend upon a healthy balance of work and play. The following tips will help you avoid this common danger.

? Organize a social calendar. Just like your daily ?to-do? lists at work, start planning a social ?to-do? list. Knowing what social activities appeal to you is essential towards organizing your social calendar. Find the time before or after work to get out into the London social scene.

? Dine out. Many professionals in the work force are starting to see the satisfaction and pleasure in taking the time to experience food consumption in a whole new way. I?m not talking about going to a restaurant and quickly getting your meal down your throat and into your belly. I am talking about expanding your culinary horizons. For example, try ethnic cuisine or a new food you have never eaten before. Dine for hours at a trendy restaurant and savor an eight-course meal with a fine wine or cocktail. Most importantly, take your time and enjoy the experience.

? Dance the night away. The benefits to a night out of dancing could never be overstated. The obvious benefits are the exercise and calorie burning. Dance experts have long asserted that dancing tones the body in a way no other form of physical activity can accomplish. Dancers are considered among the elite in athleticism and discipline. Dancing also offers social opportunities to meet new people. It gives you an outlet to work out aggression and the strains of the workday. Overall, dance is a complete source of exercise for the physical, social and mentally healthy self.

? Soothe your soul with music. Take in a concert or musical affair. Choose your favorite music and attend an event that will fill you with the sounds of your favorite melodies. Music has long been a part of the human experience. It has been used for centuries to allow the human being an experience beyond their physical bodies. It can be said that music will lighten your mood and nurture your soul. Music, in a form that appeals to you, can quiet your mind and release the pain of the workday.

? Exercise. Consider membership in a health or fitness club. A healthy physical body will give the hard working professional the energy needed to be both highly productive with job demands and the ability to keep up with an active social calendar. Other means of getting good exercise can be a walk in the park or bring out the child in you and dance around the house while getting ready for work.

? Take in some culture with art or theatre. Museums and the theatre are fantastic venues in which to have a quiet and reflective personal experience. The visual delight of examining a piece of art that touches you in a special way or watching a theatre performance that moves you in a positive manner can be extremely beneficial. Not every social event on your calendar has to include other people. Socializing with you, for yourself can very often be just as healthy an experience as being around hundreds or thousands of people.

? Getaway to a fine hotel or spa. From a great deal of research and personal experience, three days at a spa is just about perfect. Like many of you, I often don?t have the time for a one-day vacation much less three days however; I have found that a 3-day mini-vacation has its merits. It?s just long enough to take in the full benefits of a massage, swimming, facials and some of the other amenities the hotel or spa has to offer. If one day is all you can take the time for, then do that. Try to do this at least twice a year. P.S. Leave the cell phone off, leave the laptop at home and tell the front desk you are taking no calls.

? Go shopping. Indulge in a shopping trip every now and then. All of us need to treat ourselves to that special dress or suit. Buying that toy or electronic game we always wanted can only make life a bit better. Even shopping for food can be a great way to socialize. Take the time to say hello to the checkout clerk or butcher that has been serving you for years. A simple exchange of smiles is a social interaction that benefits all people on many unimaginable levels.

? Involve your co-workers on your social calendar. There is nothing better than the buddy system for a healthy social (and work) life. Let?s face it, engaging in some social activities is just no fun alone. Keep in mind, socializing with co-workers can also be a great way to maintain healthy work relationships.

? Breathe. This may sound simple and unimportant because it is a natural activity we take part in every second of the day. Let me assure you, we can often stop breathing for several seconds at a time. The biological and rhythmic breathing pattern of humans often gets interrupted for many reasons. Stress and automatic response to difficulties in life are just a few of the reasons this occurs. Why is this important? One reason is because we need to maintain a regular and healthy breathing pattern throughout our bodies for optimal oxygen intake. Lack of oxygen can be responsible for depression, fatigue and damage at the cellular level of our bodies, to name a few. Good breathing flow and control can keep you loaded with energy as well as provide a healthy balance between mind and body. It will also make your work life much more tolerable.

These ten tips are by no means the only ways to build a social life and maintain a balance between work and fun. These tips are many that have been provided by the best experts on work and social life. Those experts being you or those like you, the workers. Be creative, discipline yourself to organize your life towards a whole and healthy you both on the job and socially.

Remember that it?s not always about where, how or how long or with whom you socialize. Socializing can be as simple as sitting alone and enjoying the flavors of good food and libations, exercising a couple hours a week at a favorite gymnasium with friends or standing front and center at a major rock concert. The point is to get out and be social. Taking these suggestions will get you out. No matter what profession you work in a healthy balance in work and social life will keep you mentally healthy and energized, stress-free and socially empowered.


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On Thursday, January 27 Categories:

Jedi mind tricks, while predominantly a fictional term, can be referred to as the act of brain washing, through thought control or coercive persuasion. The term has become a widely accepted modern word to describe such acts, thanks to its entrenchment in modern pop culture. It may be done by use of manipulative methods to change thoughts, behavior, emotions or even decision making. This may be done willingly or unwillingly. Jedi mind tricks are usually a gradual process and may be done by a professional or someone with good experience in it.

These procedures are usually carried out for behavior control and they use deception to manipulate and influence individuals. They usually like to deal with groups of people so that they can benefit either financially or politically. This usually starts with just verbal or audio techniques to soften up an individual, the use of rewards or punishment is then applied in some cases isolation from other people is encouraged. Communication is then restricted and emotional control comes into play making a person start to reevaluate their life, humiliation and threats can also be issued to change character.

How a person reacts to these procedures depends on the environment. One is placed on and so that is why most of these manipulators will change the environment to be quiet and secluded. This will further confuse their followers to adopt their ways.

Jedi mind tricks has been used to control people a good example is in the Chinese society where individuals were subjected to difficult situations including keeping them in filth, sleep deprivation, partial sensory deprivation, group social pressure and psychological harassment. This in turn caused the imperialist mindset individuals to conform to the new Chinese social system. However studies went to show that most of this individuals only changed because they had been promised better life after which all changed back to their old habits.

This kind of control has also been used among cult leaders to confuse their followers. Techniques like withholding information, emotional persuasion and behavior modification. This is all systematic means of deceiving their followers and with time they have been able to fully convince their followers complete even to believe absurd information.

A lot of groups have negatively taken Jedi mind tricks techniques to manipulate their victims groups like terrorist groups have confused their followers with issues of religion to convince them to do as ordered. In case of custody battles parents have been known to convince children to side with them and reject the other parents through Jedi mind tricks.

Jedi mind tricks can however be used positively assist individual in stopping bad habits. For example it is used in Teen behavior modification programs to help teens who are highly indiscipline to get back on track, it is also used by smokers to help quit smoking through help of recording played in a cassette, on listening to positive messages it helps an individual change their behavioral patterns. As much as this procedure can affect an individual it can be reversed through deprogramming sessions where positive methods are used to change behavior. Most of these effects can only be felt in short term and after sometime one goes back to their normal state of mind.


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We talk of physical abuse. We also talk of emotional abuse. Let us now talk about self-abuse. What is self-abuse? Normally when we talk of any abuse, an outside agent is involved. In self-abuse, we hurt our self. We do not need any outside agency. Our own thoughts, our self-guilt and our self-beating do this for us.

Why do we do this - Some of this has to do with childhood and some with our failures in or adult life. Once we meet with few failures, we brand ourselves as a failed person. I know of a person, who not only called oneself a failed person but also believed that whatever one associated with would meet with failures. This is a complex phenomenon that involves total loss of confidence and loss of self worth.

What should be done - To stop self-abuse, one has to act slowly. One may also need outside support. The confidence that got chipped away slowly has to be brought back slowly. This cannot be done quickly. Small failures led to loss of self-confidence. Small successes will lead to rebuilding the confidence. With slow building of confidence, we must get rid of our guilt. We have to forgive ourselves. We have to show compassion to ourselves. It is like this - If we find a hurt person, we handle him/her softly and are very compassionate. We have to do that with ourselves.

We all are very precious. We are most precious for ourselves. Like a precious possession with us, we have to protect our dignity and confidence. We have to show the same care. That is compassion for our self.


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I am thankful for challenges of life. Yep, thankful for all the horrible, no good, terrible, very bad times in my life. If it weren't for all those times in my life, I couldn't be who I am today. I can say and appreciate that now. I didn't think so then.

From the time I became a teen, times were rough. I didn't know it back then, but years would go by that my family suffered greatly. Having a survivor mentality, I was certain at 13 years old, that I could fix everything. Today, I know I can do anything I set my mind to.

My father lavished us greatly while I was growing up and the more he gave, the more we wanted. So he began to embezzle from the county. The family really. The family owned the county. In my 13th year, he was caught. My family, practically aristocrat by then, did the only sensible thing....we fled. My brothers, sister, nor I really understood what was happening, it just seemed like another family vacation that summer.

But the fun eventually wore off and the weeks stretched into months and then turned into living in my mom's 1976 Datsun B-210 Hacthback...for years. Seven of us in that thing. My mom, dad, three brothers, one sister, and me. Eventually my father was caught as he began his alcoholic induced stupor which would last for the remainder of his life. The fleeing stopped back home in California, dad was convicted, paroled and returned to us...the family.

Our lives were shattered and ruined. My parents then broken and embarrassed, gave up. My dad has a triple heart by-pass and disabled from ever working again and my mom's lifelong dream of being a housewife destroyed. They sunk deeper and deeper into depression and we, the 5 children, left to live in a car at night and parks by day.

I got sick of it. I began working at anything I could do and during the course of the year, went from park to motel to 5 bedroom house. That house were my mom got a job, my dad got on social security, and we would begin to repair our lives.

I am thankful, each and every day, that I did not continue down that path. I don't know who she would have grown up to be, but I know two things. One, it wouldn't be me and two, I wouldn't have liked who she was growing up to become. Those were horrible, terrible, no good, very bad years of my life. One of many in my life, I admit. But I am thankful for those days nonetheless.

Those years were the kind of years that a teenager makes terrible choices. Drinking, drugs, prostitution, pregnancy.... none of which I chose. I could have sunken into the depths of darkness that plague our teenagers today. The choices they feel they are pressured into making. I am here to say, it doesn't have to be that way. I know. I was there. It is tough, homelessness as a child and an adult, it is hard. But it doesn't have to be there forever. I made a choice and I fought to get out. I wouldn't leave my family behind or compromise on principles to do it. I just fought and I fought hard while trusting God to show me where to go.

That doesn't mean that I just sat back and said "okay God, get me out of this..." NO!!! He was showing me what I had to do. I had to do the work, not Him. I was the one who had to grow, not Him. Dear people, don't sit on your ass waiting for a miracle when God is showing you how to take it. Get up off your butt and work for it. You are only a "poor me" victim as long as you have made the choice to be. Screw that! Work hard for it and the rewards are tremendous.

Thank you God, for rescuing me from a life and a shell of a person that I was then. Thank you so much for the challenges that prepared me for my entire life and made me a strength for my children and their children (if they ever have any).

I love who I am today and love the life I have. None of this would have been possible without You. You have given me all I thought I had ever lost and overflowed my cup with abundance. I am so very grateful today as I was then, for the lessons you taught me. Thankful for the things I got to do, the work ethic you instilled in me, and the protective qualities and instincts that would serve me for my entire life.

I am eternally grateful for the challenges I have had and the love You have shown me.


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There is no person on this planet, who has never dreamed of one day being big and great; there's no one person who always wants to be and live below other people - everyone has this inner thing in them to be great and powerful even if it may never happen. This is how you were created, you were designed to rule, you were designed to be a MASTER hence that thing in you.

When I was younger, we liked watching kung-fu movies. Every weekend, there was what used to be called a martin show - specifically for younger audiences such as ours. What I noticed in the kung-fu movies is that, there was always one person called MASTER otherwise also known as TEACHER. The most unfortunate part is that the master would always get killed somehow and then the main star of the movie would go on to avenge the death of his master. The point however, is that the master in the movie, was the man with the greatest skill of kung-fu; he was the teacher and role model of the main star in the movie.

The master did not become master by simply reading a kung-fu book. Today we have people with masters degrees all attained simply by reading books. A real master is one that can demonstrate his mastery.

To attain mastery, you must combine your theory with practice; you must perfect your theories by actually putting them to use.

The other thing I noticed in the kung-fu movies is that, the Master always had his own method of fighting; he had devised his own ways of always winning the fight. It was this skill that he would transfer into the main star of the movie.

A master always demonstrates his own peculiar method of achieving goals. A master is not a copy cat; a master develops the formula which others use to solve the equation.

The greatest obstacle to mastery is lack of focus. You cannot master multiple skills at the same time - and yet this is what we always see in many people. Ever heard the phrase:

Jack of all trades and master of none?

It is because the art of mastery requires being focused and persistent.

Remember, if you do not believe you can do it, you cannot do it. Choose to become a master at what you do; let your name be synonymous with your skill.

So, what really is the key to mastery?

i) Mission

You cannot be a master and not know what your mission is. What do I mean here? Your mission is your reason, your purpose or your why. There must be some driving force that causes you to pursue a life of mastery without which you will have no reason to move from an average lifestyle. A clearly defined mission must be your blueprint in the development of a master in you.

What is it that you want to achieve at the end of it all? What is your goal and passion? It is dangerous to live life without a passion. Many people who end their lives after some frustration are people who never were passionate about anything. Many companies display on their walls what they call a mission statement. This document defines what the company wishes and plans to achieve in the market. It reminds them about their role and existence. This is a guideline which sets boundaries of operation. Immediately a company forgets its mission statement, the competitor takes over.

You need to clearly define your goal which is your mission - what you want to become. Do not leave it to chance; and to always remind yourself about it, put it down on a piece of paper and frame it as your mission statement, then hung it in your room so that your eyes will always look at it each time you wake up. The definition of your mission is the number one step in the pursuance of your mastery.

ii) Abilities

Each person is endowed with abilities to help them achieve their mission. These are what we sometimes call talents. You may have heard some people who are called multi-talented and others just talented. Well, the truth is that every person is multi-talented; you do not only have one ability in you!! There are inert multi abilities in you but you need to try them out to prove this. Other people are called disabled - this does not mean they are deprived of any abilities; NO ONE IS DISABLED. If one person does not have the ability you have, it does not mean they are disabled.

Ignorance is the only disability a man can successfully have; and this is a disability of choice.

Let's take a blind man for instance who reads brail using his fingers, and a man who can see but can't read; who should we call disabled? The blind man because he can't use his eyes to read or the other man because even if he's got eyes but can't read? The truth is that these two people each have abilities except they are differently talented.

It is when you accept your condition of disability that you kill the genius inside you. Do not let anyone take advantage of you because your abilities are not their abilities. Explore those hidden abilities in you that will help you achieve your mission statement.

You are disabled only if you choose to.

iii) Select

Even if you are endowed with many abilities, not all are there to help you achieve your mission. If your goal is to become the best saxophonist, your ability to translate Chinese may not be exactly the one you want to spend your time on. You need to carefully choose what you can improve on and can help you with your mission. You need to realize that all this goes back to achieving your mission - what and who you want to end up.

The point to note here is that, this venture is entirely your choice - you need to select. Just because you can sing does not mean you must end up a singer, but if you choose to, then the abilities in you that can make you the best singer are what you must select. You will not select to become everything because you cannot become everything. To become master, you must choose or select what you want to master or you'll end up Jack of all trades and master of none.

This is very critical because this is what makes people end up who they didn't want to be. The abilities you choose to major on, are what determines your destiny. You cannot choose one thing and end up another. If you are a swimmer and also a singer but you decide to always do your swimming - you will not be known as the best singer in town, most likely the title would be the best swimmer in town. So choose carefully your abilities.

iv) Training

Once you have selected your abilities, you need to realize that you are not the best person that ever lived at your abilities or talents; so you need to take them to the gym. Abilities are like babies, if you want them to grow and become perfect, you need to feed them and train them. The best public speaker was not born like that, they took that gift to some bush and spoke to the trees; they spoke to anything and everything whether heard or not. They practiced the art until one day you saw the flare in their public speaking. But you think God somehow just blessed them with the gift and they had nothing to do with it.

Football legends don't fall from heaven, these are individuals who take their talents to the gym; even after training with their fellow team mates, they take it a little further than everybody else.

Do not be cheated, no one is born with skill - this particular thing only comes after the gym.

Haven't you ever wondered why not every man looks like Rambo? Are you telling me some men don't have muscle? Everyone has muscle but it's the muscle that goes to the gym that shows. Your abilities need training.

v) Explore

A master is not the person who only wins using one method. If your opponent steals your formula, what becomes of you? A master explores several ways of arriving at the same point. Explore your talents and discover several ways of scoring goals.

In the game of soccer, if you kick your penalties the same way, one day the goal-keepers will discover your trick and that will be the end of your goal scoring carrier. How interesting it is to watch grand masters doing their thing. People are mesmerized by magic; they will pay you for the magic you put in your skill. Become an explorer of your own abilities and let people fight to get your auto-graph. No one will ever want your auto-graph until you become an explorer of your talents.

vi) Repetition

There are no two ways about it and no short-cuts to mastery - if you want to master anything, doing it over and over, is the key. You cannot make piano master by playing one song per week; its repetition that does the job.

Back to my kung-fu movies analogy, I once watched a movie where a certain young monk wanted to learn kung-fu and he went to enroll at a monastery. His teacher's first lesson was that of discipline and commitment. The young man was eager to learn so he thought this was good enough. His initial task was to sit by a river and slap the waters repeatedly with his palms. The first day he was all good, the second day came, the third came and went. He was looking forward to a time he would start learning kung-fu; a week past and he became inpatient.

He approached his teacher rather furious and disappointed: "I came here to learn kung-fu, not to sit by a river slapping water like a fool!!" his teacher watched him and said "patience my child, patience".

Three months went by and it was time to go back on holiday to his family. At this stage he was so annoyed with the whole program that he had made up his mind he was going to quit.

His family saw him coming home and they were all excited and happy to see their son and brother back obviously with some kung-fu skills to show off to them and his peers.

At the dinner table, his family decided to enquire from him what he had learnt at the monastery. Angrily, he replied "I learnt literally nothing, am wasting my time there."

"hmmm!!, am sure there is something you have picked up to show us!!" insisted his father.

"I don't want to go back to that place!!" he replied.

"three months is a long time, you mean you were just sitting??" his mother added.

In anger, he slapped the dinner table on which they were eating from shouting "I told you I learnt nothing!!"

To the amazement of both his family and himself, the dinner table they once cherished broke into pieces after his one slap. It was then that he realized that the strength he had developed to break that strong table was as a result of those repeated slaps he was giving to that river of water.

To make master, you must overcome boredom that comes as a result of repetition.

The six points to mastery spell out the word MASTER.

Mission, Abilities, Select, Training, Explore and Repetition


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Friday M. Simfukwe is a business professional whose main thrust and vision is to transform followers into leaders, subjects into masters and mare men into the people they were really meant to be. A computer systems engineer by design with a bias towards world economics and human development. He has worked with many young people in universities and colleges teaching them how to discover their purpose and the importance of living a purpose driven life. He's married with two children and currently lives with his family in Lusaka, Zambia.

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Personality cannot be quantified. Personality can be perceived. Why we are delighted to hear somebody is beyond any scientific explanation. Similarly, why we love seeing some body walk is beyond any science. Personality is a mix of traits that gives a whole impression that can be either attractive or disturbing.

How to improve Personality? Since we judge people with their personality, it is important to find out why a person attracts while another creates negative vibes. Let us begin with posture. Watch yourself in the mirror. Are you keeping a straight body? Watch yourself walking. If you see somebody else walking like that, would you like that? If yes, great, otherwise find out what can be done for improvement. Go through all your normal body movements with a fine comb and bring necessary changes in them to make yourself more attractive.

How about your body maintenance? Do you keep your nails perfectly manicured? Do you look fresh at all the times? What about your hair? Are they healthy? Is your hairstyle enhancing your face value? What about mouth odor and body odor? Make a list and take care of all these aspects.

How about your talking? Your tone, your vocabulary, your choice of words, are they perfect? The way you make sentences, is that appealing? Can you make your voice sound inviting and attractive? Small additions and changes will slowly make big changes in your personality and make you a star.


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On Wednesday, January 26 Categories:


Self image has been scrutinized by psychologists and philosophers alike for centuries. Even though there are many arguments as to what self image is exactly, people will agree that self image has much to do with how a person feels about him/herself. Some would say that self image means how a person views himself in the world. What a person does everyday - their job, how they treat others, how attractive they are to others - hinges on their self image. Some people have positive perceptions of themselves, while others do not. It is believed that people who have positive perceptions of themselves have been told they are good, or useful. Those who are constantly told they aren?t good or useful, have negative perceptions of themselves.

This leads to another definition of self image which is how others view a person. If others do not enjoy a person?s company, the person may develop a poor self image. If other people do not find a person attract, the person may suffer from poor self image. People often put too much emphasis on what others think about them. It is important to remember that one?s self image will change throughout their lifetime. They begin to rely less on what others think about them as they mature and find hobbies and social groups that accept them. Their perception changes as they become more educated. Learning a skill or learning more about the world can have a positive impact on a person?s self esteem.

Sometimes, though, a person needs counseling in order to develop a positive self image. This is very common among women and teenagers. Fashion magazines show women that are perfect when in reality they are not. Some women feel they cannot live up to these expectations and become depressed. Teenagers feel the same way when they compare themselves to others in their peer group. Unrealistic comparisons like these are dangerous. They can lead to eating disorders, disruptive behavior, and eventually drug or alcohol abuse. Talking with a therapist can sometimes make a person realize that they do not have to compare themselves to others. Their self image improves and they can lead happy lives.

Self image needs to be nurtured. Everyone feels less than perfect sometimes. But most people recover and go on with their lives. But some people cannot let go of these bad feelings as easily. Their self image is so unrealistic, they make themselves sick and need professional help and advice in order to gain the strength needed to get past those bead feelings.


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Are considering a yoga retreat? You have allocated the time and money and are committed to a meaningful experience. How do you know what to expect from your upcoming yoga retreat? A little forethought, research and proper planning can make your retreat a profound life experience a la eat, pray, love.

A little online research will show that there are terrific yoga retreats all over the globe. The abundance of differing techniques, varied locations and contrasting practices may be a bit overwhelming. Here is a checklist of considerations that might help finalize your choice.

1. Instruction - Just as you know there are many forms of yoga, you also know each variation has a different instructional style. Make sure the teaching style at your retreat is to your liking and within you ability. Most yoga retreats offer online resources that describe the practice of yoga and the style of instruction at their facility. As this is probably the most significant consideration on your list, get to the bottom of the information. If you read the site's material and still have questions, get on the phone.

2. Goals - Make sure you understand the goals of the yoga retreat you will be engaging and that their goals match well with your personal aspirations. Again, research is the key. When setting your goals, think both long-term benefit and short-term benefit. If the program does not give you a sense of these benefits, speak to a coordinator.

3. Facility - Get an understanding of the program's facility and how the yoga program utilizes the retreat's facilities. Practical ramifications of this information may affect how you will dress and therefore the clothes you need to pack. Are you looking for something luxurious like Miraval or would something spartan, clean and more budget-friendly like Kripalu serve your needs?

4. Experience - Cross-reference your own research with the first hand or word-of-mouth experiences of previous attendees. Don't be afraid to ask if they would return or what their progress has been since visiting the retreat. Do a Google search for reviews of the retreat or ask if you can speak with someone who experienced the retreat.

5. Travel - Just as you plan your itinerary, make sure there are no holes in your travel plans. Some retreats are in outlying areas. Also, check to assure that you understand the climate to which you will be traveling. Verify and confirm all return-trip information weeks before departing and, of course, cover your bases at home and work. Check the weather as well before you are traveling.

6. Budget - Your budget should include all costs associated with travel and the yoga retreat. Make sure you fully understand what the price of the retreat includes. Be especially clear about meal provisions. It is safe to say that every yoga retreat has its own standards. Are extras such as spa treatments, mats, blocks and other classes included or are they extra?

7. Experience - Many yoga retreats cater to practitioners of different levels. Some retreats are prone to accept beginning students while others prohibit the beginner. You may need a little honest self-evaluation to be sure you are up to the program's standards. Most important is matching your experience level with the program's stated experience levels. Are you looking to do an intensive program with 6-8 hours of yoga a day or would 2-3 hours be your pace? Find our the schedule before hand if you can.


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Jasmine Kaloudis teaches yoga and yoga retreats at Synergy By Jasmine in Philadelphia. For free images of yoga poses with tips on how to do them, email info at jasminepartneryoga dot com with "Request Yoga Poses and Tips" in headline.

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On Tuesday, January 25 Categories:




Do you want to learn how to handle failure in your life? Let?s face it, everyone fails in their lives. Nobody is perfect. Even the world?s most successful person was once a failure before he or she finally produces outstanding success results. And in this article, you are going to learn exactly how you can handle failure and turn it into a stepping stone to your success.





Failure is something that everyone must face in their lives. You fail when someone rejects you. You fail when your clients refuse to buy from you. You fail when you did not reach your goals and so on and so forth. So how can we handle these so-called `failures? in life? Here are the 3 simple tactics?



1. Take it as a signal. When something wrong happen, it is telling you exactly that something is wrong. It works as a signal telling you that the strategy that you are using is not correct. Just like if you fail to close the deal, take it as a signal that is telling you that you should learn about better presentation. When you fall sick, it is also a signal telling you that you should take a good look at your health, are you eating healthily? Do you have enough rest? When you take failure as a signal, you will slowly improve the quality of your life.



2. Treat it as a feedback. Yes, you have to treat failure as a feedback and something for you to learn from. If you fail in your exam, it simply means that you are not hard working enough and it means that your understanding about the certain subject is not enough. You have to learn to improve your knowledge and skills to pass for the next time. Life is full of experiments and you must learn from all the outcomes that you get from your experiments. This is how you can improve your strategies to reach your goals.



3. Never take it as something personal. The only key to handle failure in life is to acknowledge that you did not fail, it is just something that you should learn from and it is just a process of getting what you want. You fail only when you quit. Therefore, do not quit and do not give up. Continue to learn from the feedback and admit that you have something to learn from what you have done. This is how successful people are able to create amazing results in their lives.



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By: Shawn Lim

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