Self Improvement

There are cycles that we move in that create moods. We may have certain routines that are necessary for us to function in life. One such is going to bed at a certain hour so that we can be on time for work the next morning. If we disrupt this cycle we might be grumpy in the morning. Some cycles, of which we may not be aware, have been instilled in us since childhood, like having fish on Fridays or church on the weekend. One obvious cycle that can evoke certain moods is the menstrual cycle. Although moods and cycles are usually associated with women we all have them. Men have them and women have them. The key is to be aware of the moods that cycles produce and to balance them.

Let's go back to the fish example. This is a completely made up scenario, so follow me and try to see the parallel in your own situation. Say the fish you have on Fridays has been coupled with a sense of completion of the week. It's a good feeling. Suddenly, you join with Mr. Wonderful and he suggests steak on Fridays. You oblige at first, but grow more and more discontent. You are not sure what is the source of discontentment, so you blame spending time with him on Fridays. One day you blow up at him and you are both confused. If you practice being in touch with your cycles and moods, you can get to the point where you realize that you had an expectation of fish on Fridays. You can explain to him why you blew up, and the two of you can find ways to create a winning situation. You can find other ways to feel that sense of completion at the end of the week or he can compromise on eating steak on Fridays. Either way the result is, you GROW STRONGER AS A COUPLE. You gain understanding about yourself and he gains an understanding about you.

I know this seems like a silly story, and knowing yourself at that level may seem like a big task if you are not the introspective type. Yet, this kind of self-awareness can guarantee a long successful relationship.

Stir it up:
Begin to review your cycles and your moods. Whenever you feel overwhelmed with a positive or negative emotion ask yourself why. Explore the origin of the emotion. Is it related to an experience you are having at that moment? Could it be tied to an automatic response from a cycle? Find ways to successfully balance your negative moods such as bath soaks, meditation, writing, prayer, or asking for 30 minutes alone in a room. Remember to give your partner space to work through his cycles and moods and be ready to compromise for a win-win situation.

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Brooke Brimm has a Master's degree in Professional Counseling and 8 years of experience in the field of Human Science. She has been married since 1993 and has two beautiful daughters. Ms. Brimm authors an ezine, Loves Gumbo, in which she discusses love, relationships, and friendships in today's society. To join email: lovesgumbo@comcast.net