Self Improvement

Unfortunately, bullying is a huge problem that affects many children and teens. Bullies come in every shape, size, race, profession, status, religion, and age. Bullying can happen anywhere. The effects of bullying can include stress, anxiety, depression, feeling sick, and suicide. When a victim is bullied, it changes their world forever. They no longer feel safe in places that should be safe-havens. They may fear things they previously enjoyed and may avoid many activities. Bullying may include teasing, threatening, harassment, physical aggression, stealing, etc... Bullies act out for many reasons. The reasons may include attention seeking, pursuit of popularity, pursuit of power and control, and ignorance (this is how they were raised).

Responding to bullying can be intimidating and stressful. If your child is a victim of bullying, it's important that they ignore the bully's threats. Bullies are looking for a reaction. If your child gives no reaction, the bullying may cease. By not showing fear or anger, the bully isn't able to receive the reaction they are most likely hoping for. Children must also learn to stand up for themselves and others. If confronted by a bully, they should pretend to be brave and tell the bully to stop. If they witness another child being bullied, they need to stand up to the bully by telling them to stop and by walking away. Importantly, children must refrain from "bullying-back."

If a child is being bullied, it is extremely important they tell an adult they trust. School personnel can help stop bullying if they are made aware of the situation. Bullying has long term consequences. Unless bullies receive intervention, the likelihood they will commit more serious acts is significant. They are also at a higher risk of using drugs and alcohol.

If your child's grades drop, if they withdraw, lose their appetite, have difficult falling asleep, ask for extra money, want to carry a personal protection device, or come home with bruises or other unexplained problems, they MAY be the victim of bullying. Keeping the lines of communication open with your child AND with their school is an important component of reducing bullying and keeping your child safe.

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Holly Smith, Ph.D., ABD, has been a credentialed school psychologist for the past 10 years, has experience working as a social worker dealing with families and children, and has taught graduate-level courses in psychology. For more information, please visit http://www.healingheartsnetwork.com.