Self Improvement

I recently came upon an interesting and powerful idea. Nothing new, nothing revolutionary, and actually quite simple.

Yet completely powerful.

Ready?

Here it is:

You are committed to what you are living out in your life right now. Both in its positive expression and its negative expression.

This means that no matter what you say, and no matter how much you try to convince yourself OR anyone else out there that you are committed to being close to your partner, or losing weight, or having more fun, or being more patient, or having more success, or..(you can fill in the blank here- basically, its about what you think you are committed to getting) you are actually in some way committed to whatever it is that you are experiencing.

Now, here's the crux of the matter: if you don't have it, haven't done it, or haven't changed into whatever you say you want in your life, well then, it's because you are committed to NOT getting it! You are actually committed to NOT getting what you want, and that's all there is to it folks!

Mind-blowing and yet kinda simplistic, no? If I don't have it, it's 'cause I don't want it? Duh, ya! If I really really wanted it then I would have it? Duh, you're getting warmer now Claudia!
Does it seem too simple?

Now, I know you are probably going to have some feeling about this idea, some reaction. Like, "if I don't have it it's NOT because I don't want it!(as you stamp your foot on the floor) it's because I CAN'T have it." And here you can come up with a million and one reasons why you somehow can't get what you think you are so committed to getting.

The reasons can seem totally logical and relevant: you're not closer to your partner because he/she is always busy, you are trying to lose weight but it's just not happening, you want to have more fun but have so many responsibilities to take care of...catching my drift?

Bear with me here, I know it sounds a little confusing to want something and think you are doing everything in your power to accomplish that goal, and yet somehow not reaching that goal on purpose?

That's right, it's all because you don't know you are doing it (or NOT doing it really).
A little explanation, please...

It is all the fault of the subconscious you. Your unsuspecting 'conscious' self has no chance here-at least until you catch yourself at this self-defeating game, and then- only then- do you have a chance at turning this shadow game around.

The human brain is funny like that, so much going on, some of it conscious and above the water level, easy for us to examine. Then there is the 'unconscious' realm of the mind, which entirely amazes and intrigues me. (you gotta love the quirky crazyness of our 'humanness'!) And it seems that most of the time this area actually holds more weight than the one we are conscious of.

The invisible shadow of you, your subconscious, might not have the same agenda as your conscious mind. And this shadow is the one in charge, without you even suspecting it. This invisible you is the one who is really pulling the chords and making the decisions. Ah-ha!

So you think you want something, and you think you are trying your damnest to get that something -and yet it seems that no matter what you do it is just not happening? Guess what, it could be that your more powerful inner self is actually sabotaging your every move. No, the resistance and blocks on that road are not coming from outside of you, YOU are creating them...every step of the way.
What to do about this pesky little problem?

Now you've realized you actually have a counter-commitment where you thought you had a straight up commitment!

Well, much like the shadows in the outer world, when you shine a light on this realization you can proceed to banish the shadow.

The five steps to changing the tables on your shadow and achieving the success you want:

1- Take 100% responsibility for the fact that it is actually you stopping yourself. Put it out there in plain light of day, put it out there with the brightest light possible.

This is the first step and the most important step, because with acknowledgment comes liberation.

2- Stating your counter-commitment consciously and publicly is the second step.

Yup, that does mean belting it out and letting the world know you are responsible. Hiding things under the bed does not a clean room make!

(No, it does not have to be the entire world! Your partner, a friend, your dentist or friendly barrista at Starbucks will do- but someone who will hold you accountable in your transformation of this counter-commitment will serve you best)

3- The third step is in taking a deep and honest look at why you have these counter-commitments. What is behind your self-sabotage? - A fear of success? A past unsolved pain? Laziness?

The more brutally honest you are, the better chance you have of eliminating self-sabotage.

4- Now you've got your finger on the why of it all. Time to turn it around. No need for dwelling on the negative pain of it, no need for a too-long pit-stop in the unchangeable past.

Just a good dose of love and acceptance for yourself and some forgiveness for trying to trip yourself up. And yes, piling it on is good...warm, fuzzy, smiley love for yourself and this journey of life you're on. We're all here to learn, and sometimes we trip ourselves up-that's okay.

5- After all the lovey-doveys to yourself, you're right back on track; but this time much better equipped and more vigilant. With full responsibility on your shoulders for what is happening in your world. All of it.

Life is simple.

But not always easy.

When you set yourself out to do something, or accomplish something and it's not happening, Stop. Look at yourself and your own shadows before you look for any outside source to your problem.

Everything you set yourself out to do is do-able. Attainable. It might mean hard work. (Then again I also believe that Miracles can happen.) There will be bumps along the way, and some of them will be of your own making. See them, change them, and continue on your way.

Commit to living out the best, most awesome life possible, and weed out the counter-commitments that get in your way!

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." - Brian Littrell

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