On Wednesday, August 17 Categories:

Never underestimate the importance of loving yourself. It's fundamental to your journey in life if you wish to maintain your emotional mental and physical health.

Loving yourself is not something you ever finish, as you go through the ups and downs and the twists and turns of life you will continue to grow and you will adjust to change, this gives us plenty of opportunities to learn to love ourselves.

There's another common term I'm sure you've heard that's generally used to describe the way you feel about yourself this is self-esteem, this term is used to describe how you perceive 'you'. Without a steady and solid foundation of self esteem, life will be a challenge.

Why is this important? - The way you feel about 'you' will affect the way you 'are' in the world, it will affect your perceptions, decision making, social life, relationships and health.

People that do not love or think very highly of themselves, don't expect much from life, they tend to repeat negative thinking patterns, and can feel inferior to others. To help you understand this point I have added this case study.

JANE - Jane does not like herself, she is not consciously aware of this, her thinking patterns are negative and repetitive. This is normal for Jane she doesn't know how else to behave. She is not enjoying life, she hates her job, she doesn't have a very good relationship with her children or husband, Jane is depressed and de-motivated.

Together we discussed Jane's life and childhood and it soon became apparent that her parents were overly critical they were not demonstrative with their love and affection, Jane did not receive the emotional support she needed as a child, this consequently led her to believe that she didn't deserve good things, that she was a nobody. When Jane left home she continued to repeat these patterns criticising herself calling herself names, and putting herself down.

I explained to Jane that she had low-self esteem, she did not love herself and explained that if she did not love herself then it was hard for her to accept love from others, slowly Jane started to understand how this had impacted her life. I explained...

When you don't think much of yourself, you don't respect yourself, it's easy to allow others to de-value you (as her husband was doing) it's easy to allow others to manipulate you (as her children were doing) it's easy to allow others to take advantage of you (as her family and friends were doing) it's hard to say NO, and people that knew she found that difficult took advantage. If you lack respect for yourself, then others will not respect you. Jane realised she was 'allowing' all these people to 'treat' her this way because she didn't believe she deserved anything else. She didn't realise there was another way to live she had been going around in circles all her life.

This is how Jane's life improved, when she started to love and respect herself.

She started by noticing the negative comments she said to herself and replaced them with 'positive' comments. Changing the tapes in her head changed her perception and the way she felt about herself, these changes had a major effect on her life.

She was able to say NO to her friends, and was not used as a taxi or babysitting service.
She was able to say NO to her children, teach them to become responsible instead of relying on her help, time and money.
She was able to tell her husband what needs he was not filling within their marriage and when he was being unreasonable.
She was able to see she was being 'used' at work and changed her job.
Jane's life is now very different, she is happier than she could ever have imagined and all because she learned to love herself.

I hope you can see how important and fundamental this is to your life if you want to be happy, and maybe you may see a little of your own life in Jane and now you know what you need to do.

Shelley Harris

Becoming Successful Is Easy and Making Money is Even Easier. Click Here Now to find out more.

This article was written by Shelley Harris, who helps women to discover and dismantle psychological barriers.

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