Self Improvement

At Christmas time, many people are deciding on what gift to give that special someone. Whether it is a spouse, child, girlfriend boyfriend or just someone who?s been there for you, it can be hard to decide.

Of all the gifts that I have given over the years, two have stood out for people. This can be for any occasion throughout the year.

One of them is to write down or type what you see in the other person.

• Why they make a difference in your life.
  
• Why they make a difference in other peoples lives.
  
• The talents and gifts that they have.
  
• The potential that you see in them.
  
• What you appreciate about them and why.
  
  I would then put this on special paper that reflected their personality. You can them either place it in an envelop or even frame it for them to hang on the wall as a reminder when they are feeling down. I have even included a ribbon that said, ?Who You Are Makes A Difference?.
  
  The second gift is the gift of listening. Often we half listen, because we have several things on our mind or believe we know what they are going to say. And people know it. They often feel that you don?t consider either them or what they have to say important.
  
  I have heard many people say, "If only someone would just listen to me."
  
  They desire a friendly ear, a sounding board to just hear them.
  
  
  To do this:
  
  • Let them know that you would like to listen to them.
    
  • Find a time when you are not rushed.
    
  • Make sure there are no distractions.
    
    • Turn off the TV, radio, cell phone etc.
      
    • Make sure you are not too tired to listen.
    
    
  • Face the other person.
    
  • Have eye contact with them.
    
  • Show signs that you are listening.
    
  • Do not give advice unless asked for.
    
  • Encourage them to continue. Say, ?Tell me more about that.?
    
  • Ask, is there anything else?
    
  • Stop the temptation to respond, jot down a note is necessary.
  
  
  
  
  You can be amazed at what you can learn by just listening. I have seen people go through this process and say things like, "I never knew". They realized that they had made several assumptions about the other person and didn?t discover who or what they are really about. It has healed relationships of all types. It is also very rewarding watching how happy this can make the other person.
  
  So often, because we are rushed, we don?t take the time to let the people that are close to us, know that they matter. Sadly, many people are better at pointing out the negative or what is wrong and some people start to think that is the only thing you see in them. Then they go into depression or worse, because they belief that no one cares.
  
  These two gifts can go along way in developing improved communication and stronger relationships.
  
  The rewards are great and the discoveries can be amazing.
  
  
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