In today's high stress, high anxiety world, rest is the single most important thing you can do for yourself. The time that you select to relax or sleep can rejuvenate your body and mind or, it can be a frustrating task of tossing and turning to seek comfort and relief from pain.
Sleep experts and the medical community constantly remind us that unless we rest well and comfortably, problems can result. These problems can be physical as well as mental.
Disorders related to sleep and rest have been linked to such medical maladies as back and breathing problems, irritability and depression, weight gain, and more. Finding a solution to each of these sleep-related problems can be long and disconcerting.
Pills may offer some relief, but this is usually temporary as the effectiveness of the medication lessens with constant use. Breathing machines have improved sleep for persons with sleep apnea and "white noise" has offered relief for those who have trouble falling asleep.
After years of study and experimentation, experts are rapidly coming to the conclusion that getting a good night's sleep may actually depend on the type of bed you're sleeping upon.
Beds have evolved through history from makeshift palettes made from leaves to the adjustable beds of today that conform to your body's every want and need. These beds were originally designed to offer comfort and relaxation. Now, they're being touted as the new age solution to sleep or rest dilemmas.
Sleep Deprivation Can Deprive You of Quality of Life
Sleep deprivation can deprive you in other ways that you've probably never thought of. For example, lack of a peaceful night's sleep can affect your waking hours in ways that cause poor job performance or safety issues such as drowsiness while driving a car or operating machinery.
"Time" magazine recently published that "getting a good night's sleep is an ordeal for 70 million Americans." To better understand how sleep deprivation can affect your quality of life, sleep clinics have popped up all over the country in an effort to study sleep problems and find solutions.
The good news from these studies is that your sleep surface can be a major solution to most rest and relaxation problems that can lead to medical difficulties. It makes perfect sense that if you can adjust your bed to obtain the ultimate comfort and pain relief, you'll have the ultimate good night's sleep.
If you stay awake at night because of your partner's tossing and turning, a dual adjustable bed can be a great solution to that problem. Back support and body alignment that adjustable beds offer can also help you in your quest for rest.
Adjustable beds bear no resemblance to the old, mechanical hospital beds of the past. Manufacturers now produce remote controlled, electronically operated beds and have made them longer, wider and more durable than ever before.
You can also find an adjustable bed that blends with your d??cor, uses ordinary sized linen and offers approximately a thousand different positions so that you can find the perfect comfort level.
Don't let sleep deprivation ruin your quality of life. Research and consider an adjustable bed to see what it can do for you.
Why A Stationary Bed Isn't Enough
In order to gain 100% control over your sleep and relaxation, the bed that you choose needs to conform to your body's needs. If you're suffering from sleep deprivation, don't underplay the significance of how your bed can control the quality of your life.
Adjustable bed manufacturers such as Simmons, Craftmatic, Tempurpedic and Electropedic offer many options that cater to your comfort needs and will help you gain control of your sleep and relaxation problems.
These options range from heaters and massagers to the latest technology in positioning. If you suffer from allergies, you can find an adjustable bed that is resistant to bacteria, mold, mildew and mites. Adjustable beds offer everything that a top quality stationary bed has - and so much more.
The proper adjustable bed can be your ultimate sanctuary from stress and pain. Don't skimp on your health and comfort needs when they might just be a comfortable night's sleep away on an adjustable bed.
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SynchroDestiny is the new, life-changing program by Deepak Chopra. If you have read or watched anything in the field of self-improvement and changing your life then you must have heard of the name of Deepak Chopra. A pioneer and well known name in the alternative health field, Deepak has spent his life trying to pass on his knowledge and teach as many people as possible how to live a successful life.
SynchroDestiny is a powerful program and the person behind it has designed this course in such a way that your life will never be the same again. Deepak Chopra's mind opening program will forever change the way you think and allow abundance to flow into your life.
Deepak Chopra is not just an alternative health pioneer he is a celebrated psychologist, used to the vagaries of the human mind. In everyone's life, there are things that we call coincidences, meetings or a change of tack that bear some inherent meaning and may often have visible effects in our lives. In most people's experience, such coincidences and chains of events tend to defy the laws of the natural world and we have no explanation as to their cause.
In the SynchroDestiny program, Deepak Chopra sets out to examine what we call consciences and says that we shouldn't ignore them as they are evidence of what Dr Chopra has called Synchronicity in our lives. The psychologist defines synchronicity as the coming together of seemingly unrelated events that can have a great impact on our lives.
Deepak Chopra's SynchroDestiny shows you how these meaningful coincidences can be harnessed and used to help bring abundance into your life and change the way you look at the world once and for all. There are certain principles and practices contained in the program and you need to understand and develop a firm grasp of the teaching. You should eventually be able to use what you have learned to bring happiness and abundance into every area of your life.
When Deepak Chopra speaks of abundance in SynchroDestiny, he is not just talking about financial and material abundance. Using the principles in this program should enable you to take hold of everything that you want in every area of your life, including relationships, business and personal happiness and fulfillment.
When you master the teaching in SynchroDestiny, you will start to act like a magnet, attracting into your life all those things that will make it full and rich.
Once you begin to act in this way, it will enable you to clear the negative energies from yourself and your surroundings and develop a life that is filled with meaning and purpose. SynchroDestiny is a program that really will change your life forever and you will experience things in ways that are totally different from your experiences in the past. If you are looking for greater meaning in your life and wondering when you will have the longed for abundance, take a closer look at Deepak Chopra's SynchroDestiny program.
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Please visit The Personal Development Company if you would like to learn more about SynchroDestiny by Deepak Chopra
In one of the classic personal finance books, ?The Richest Man In Babylon,? we are told that the way to wealth is to ?pay yourself first.? That a portion of all you earn is yours to keep. Great words, and just as applicable to your life itself. In other words, out of every sixteen-hours of wakefulness in a day, one hour should be yours, and yours alone. Not your job, not your husband or wife, not your kids or your parents. One hour. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. Yours.
The question you should ask yourself is: if you only had one hour a day that belonged to you, what should you do with it? What CAN you do with it? Television watching patterns suggest that the average American watches over four hours a day?so we can?t claim the time isn?t there.
Lifewriting?, the high-performance system for writers and readers, maintains that with only one hour a day you can completely take your life back from the world, build to the career you desire, reach inner peace, get in the best shape of your life, and engage in continuing education?all at the same time!
The first trick is to learn to calm your mind, to center yourself so that you have a ?clean stage? on which to perform. Twenty minutes three times a week is a great start, and once you are in the habit, you?ll start finding other times during the day for contemplation. Either focusing on your heartbeat, or counting deep belly breaths to ten over and over again are great stress-busters.
Next, you?ll need energy to transform your dreams into reality. Diet, rest and focus are important for energy, but one way you can catapult your physical energy into new levels is proper exercise. There are several forms of whole-body exercise that are far more efficient than most fitness routines. We?re talking exercises that simultaneously work all muscles, produce high levels of aerobic fitness, and actually produce a healthy stretch?all in less than 20 minutes a day! Check out the ?clubbell? system at www.rmax.tv, the ?kettlebell? techniques at www.dragondoor.com, or the ?Combat Conditioning? system sold at www.mattfurey.com. These three are fabulous, real, hyper-efficient means of producing fitness. Three twenty-minute sessions a week will probably double your energy.
Now you get to be clever. While total concentration on your exercise is best, this is not a perfect world, and we must make compromises. Listening to instructional CD?s or audiobooks during exercise time is a great choice. Possibly the best source of such material is the wonderful Great Courses series available at www.teachco.com. The Teaching Company finds the best college professors in the world, and records their finest lectures on 30 and 45 minute tapes. The prices are reasonable (everything goes on sale at least once a year) and the breadth of knowledge staggering. The quality of the instructors is absolutely top-notch.
Ten minutes every day clarifying your goals is also a good idea.
Now, depending on how you?ve juggled your time (ten minutes goals, twenty minutes exercise or meditation) you should have about thirty minutes left. You can use this for making plans to move your career into a desired direction. Let?s be specific, and talk about my own career, writing. What can I do with this time?
Well, after a half hour of planning, exercising, meditation, and focus, you should be raring to go. In thirty minutes, you can produce 300-1000 words of text, IF you don?t worry about the quality of the draft. This is absolutely key to producing the volume that will lead to quality. Say, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, you produce new text. These are ?flow? days, where you simply make a picture in your head, or let your fingers tingle (or however else you move into creative flow) and then type.
Then, on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, you edit. This is when you tear your work apart, polish, plan and dig in. DO NOT CONFUSE THESE TWO STATES. Editing and Flow are completely different parts of the mind, sort of Left Brain/Right Brain. Writer?s block is merely the mixing of the two, ?editing? when you should be ?flowing.? Separate them deliberately, and you unleash a creative avalanche.
Of course, if you aren?t a writer, these ideas can easily be modified. The most important points are:
1) One hour of every day belongs to you. Take it!
2) Clear your mind.
3) Plan your day
4) Raise your physical energy.
5) Take steps toward your dream goal.
If you will take these five steps, then you are on the path to the life of your dreams?one hour at a time!
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Wouldn't it be nice to enjoy a pleasant time enjoying yourself, the tranquility of your home, great health, wealthy job amongst many other positive experiences? Have you ever thought about the lines of energy? There are many ways in which this can be accomplished but here we are going to discuss one that is often used by many designers and many people in general when it comes to organizing your home. According to ancient Chinese science, you can accomplish all this through the practice of Feng shui (pronounced "fung shway"). Feng what? Whether you are moving soon and will love to improve your home and your overall life or if you want to make some changes in your life, here is a quick explanation of what this methodology expresses.
Generally speaking, Feng Shui assures that anything and everything is possible if we learn to live in harmony and balance with our surroundings. This ancestral practice thinks that numerous lines of energy intercross in the atmosphere getting in touch with our natural energy as well. As with everything in life, some of these lines of energy can be beneficial while others appear to be pernicious. The main purpose of following Feng Shui practices is to protect to us of the negative energy while activating the positive ones. What benefits does it have? It proposes several techniques of distribution and decoration of your home and even the place where you work. After all, the average person spends 40 hours at work so by organizing all the areas where you spend some time you will be able to balance your surroundings having a positive repercussion in your life.
Feng Shui takes the approach that your surroundings affect not just your level of material comfort but also your physical and mental health, your relationships, and your worldly success. It is said that people who live in a home that utilizes the Feng Shui practices to decorate and organize their lives, have experienced an overall improvement in many aspects of their daily routines. You start by not pretending to become a wealthy person overnight. Contrary to popular disbelief, you won't win the lottery just because you position the couch where the Feng Shui science recommends. This is something that will get your energy synchronized with your natural surroundings, helping you to improve your life with your own efforts and hard work. The word Feng Shui meaning wind and water, examines how the placement of your personal belongings has a directly proportional effect with the energy flowing around you. It is the simple interaction of humans and their environments.
These two fundamental and flowing are the most basic elements required for human survival. They describe the wind as the breath of life and the water is the liquid of life, what keeps us hydrated. Putting it simple, Feng Shui divides everything in life following their natural order. It enables you to design your personal environment according to the same universal principles of energy flow by which planets spin in their orbits and galaxies wheel through space.
Now which are the basic principles to organize your room following the Feng Shui?
Before the movers go to your home to relocate your belongings, make sure that you know where you want your things located. This way, as soon as the moving companies get to your house, you will be able to guide them to where you want your furnishings positioned. You will also find that painting your home before they get there will be very beneficial. For the Feng Shui the influence of color is super important. Why? We respond to colors in different ways. In China for instance, decorating with the color red brings good luck. Also the color yellow and purple are very used. If you want a sense of freshness peace and growth, opt for a green. You can try out several colors and analyze how you feel when surrounded by them. Everyone is different and has different energy flows; therefore, you will react and feel different toward different color schemes.
Now, let's focused in your bedroom. In order to get a restful sleep and keep unwelcomed forces from entering the room while you sleep, place your bed where you can see the entrance. The ideal placement is within sight of the door but off to one side for maximum protection. A good Feng Shui bedroom is a bedroom that invites you, lures you in, excites and calms at the same time. It promotes a harmonious flow of nourishing and sensual energy When it comes to your dining room, it is recommended to set it up ion the middle of the room as this is the place where the family meets to have dinner. It is then seen as the heart/core of the family. Start getting rid of the mess in your home. A cluttered house is a cluttered mind. the perfect entry is one that is clear of clutter and obstruction. When cooking, you should have a clear view of who enters the kitchen. If your sight is obstructed, you can solve this by placing a mirror which will provide you with the reflection necessary.
Your work environment should be treated the same as your home. Is your back to the door? If so, reposition your work area to face the door. Clear your environment of clutter to make room for new business. Organizing your office cubicle using Feng Shui is easier that what you think and will bring you great success in your life. Maximize your life and try this methods out; you don't have anything to loose.
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Studies have shown that people that are more actively involved with positive influences can live longer.
These people also feel healthier.
Studies shows that people who socialize do not get as sick often as those who do not.
People who are active, do not have time to worry about tomorrow, or yesterday.
they live for the day that they are in now and that?s it.
Worrying too much is not good for the soul or mind.
We have many problems in life that we cannot change, therefore we need to learn how to change what we can and leave the rest alone.
Depression is one of the leading problems today and mostly because of the reasons named.
To live for a better tomorrow you have to first learn how to live for today.
What are some of the ways I can get active?There are many ways to become active instead of sitting in the house go out and make new friends.
Maybe visit your local coffee shops.
You may want to visit old friends you haven?t seen in a while.
there are many ways to get active.
We have gyms, which you can find reasonable sales.
Visit the gym start working out and intermingle with people.
The idea of socializing is to met new people and do things that you normally wouldn?t do normally.
How would I make new friends?You can go anywhere to met new friends.
You can meet new friends at stores.
You can visit a religious sector and make new acquaintances.
In time, they may become your best friend.
there you can meet new people get involved with people and then you will have plenty of things to keep you busy.
Perhaps you can volunteer at your library, hospital, or other area around town.
Here you will become actively involved with your community as you meet new people.
How will becoming more actively help me to improve my personal life? When you are more active you always feel better because your doing something good.
You are not wasting time harboring over mistakes, or other things that stress you.
Instead of worrying about tomorrow or yesterday, you are spending your time wisely.
Many people sit around all day sweating bills.
If you are late with your bills, set up a budget, get on track and stop allowing bills take over your life.
You will benefit from becoming active, since the bills will not be on your mind until they arrive in the mail.
The more active that you are you will feel the difference, since you start to feel better about you.
You will notice that you are needed in this day and time for whatever the reason is.
No one what?s to see anyone be total alone and just sit and think about the unknown that will make someone sick and feeling hopeless.
So no matter how you are feeling you need to get out and enjoy life while you can.
It?s easy to pick up the phone and call a friend.
Call someone and invite him or her to shop with you.
Invite them to come have coffee with you.
Better yet, invite them to walk in the park with you.
It?s your call.
You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.
Sitting down on life is the process of heading to the grave.
Take action now and socialize today.
Be sure to keep your social friends on a positive note.
In short, only choose people who will build you up instead of tearing you down.
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By Kathleen Gage and Lori Giovannoni
We design our life with specific goals, plans and actions for achievement. Yet, in a moment all can change. We are then left to ponder the question, ?Have you chosen your life path, or has it chosen you??
Even with the best laid plans there comes a time when our greatest achievement is to surrender to that which life has put in front of us. Surrender with a sense of acceptance not defeat.
Acceptance of the inevitable often leads us to our most profound achievements, left to discover a purpose that may have been buried deep within our spirit. Like the tides, achievement has an ebb and flow.
Our greatest achievements reside in the art of possibility. The possibility that regardless of what circumstances we find ourselves immersed in we maintain our beliefs, we continue to grow, learn and expand as a direct result of the situation.
Possibilities, like people, require nurturing and a place to grow. Our minds house all possibilities, but access to them calls for a particular kind of self-love and personal knowledge. Knowing how and when to call forth the possibilities of your day or your life is an art. There are no project plans, goal setting courses or prioritized lists that will teach us to reach into ourselves and elicit the possibilities of our being.
This is personal work; the personal work of self-care, both simultaneously powerful and fragile. Possibility must be cultivated until there is a strength that allows it to stand on its own.
No matter how much evidence we have that life is full of uncertainty there are those who do all they can to achieve constant certainty. It is the very uncertainty of life that has us love with intensity, live with passion and cherish the moments that may have passed unnoticed if each moment were guaranteed to be followed by the next. It is the uncertainty of life that pushes us to achieve.
Uncertainty may well be the catalyst to become our greatest self, achieving that which we otherwise would not have. It is that which allows the ordinary to become extraordinary, the average person a champion in their own right.
A champion is one who understands that time is fleeting and life is rich with possibility. A champion is a champion first in their mind and heart long before they are a champion in their sport. We are all champions in the making. All we have to do is believe.
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I want to wish each one of you the best of all that life has to offer in 2011. Life is wonderful and there is so much to enjoy and to learn that the possibilities are endless. We must always look at the glass as "half full."
It is the start of a new year and we have 50 odd weeks to make our dreams a reality and take control of our lives. I don't want to start lecturing you as I think of all of you more as friends and so let me share my take on things.
1. Set goals that are realistic. Take into consideration all the factors possible while setting your goals depending upon what they are.
2. Set goals that resonate with you. We are all unique in our own way and so don't limit yourself by other people's reality. By the same token don't over stretch yourself trying to compete with some one else. You are different from everybody else and that is why you need to go at your own pace and do what you love.
3. Give up one bad habit every 3 months and replace it with a good behaviour for 3 months till it forms a habit. By the end of the year you will be able to change your life dramatically.
4. Start with simple steps in what ever you do. Aim lofty but have a realistic and simple plan of steps to execute your goals. Break it down into day to day activities. Keep at it and don't give up.
5. Always be grateful and live in gratitude.
Stay strong and beautiful!
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Avril is a certified EFT practitioner and a certified Pranic Healer - Pranic healing is an Alternative healing system that is rooted in the CHAKRAS of the body and the ENERGY SYSTEM of the body.
She is also a certified "Iyengar Yoga" practitioner and a Fitness consultant who advocates body weight fast, intense workouts with fun foods that are wholesome.
She has handy tips on how to get your life back on track in just 30 days! and believes in the MIND-BODY-SPIRIT CONNECTION. http://30days360degrees4u.com
"Stay Strong and beautiful!" is Avril Qs MANTRA.
Even if your life is perfect and everything is running like clock work, one day you still may get into trouble or there will be a problem that you will not be able to solve yourself. What you do is call a friend, a person whom you can always rely on. He will never betray you and your secrets, never lie, never deceive. Once you have no way out and problems seem to surround you like enemies, your mind goes blank and the only desire you have is to hide your head in the sand and pretend that you don?t hear or see what is going on. And than he comes, the rescuer, a fresh mind and a strong hand to pull you out to the surface and help you to face your problems. But does your friend correspond to that description?
You are surrounded by a lot of people daily, who claim to be your friends. You spend much time with them thinking of them as friends. But when it comes to help or advice they all seem to disappear, to evaporate suddenly after leaving you with a thousand made up excuses. You feel deceived and have no idea of what to do. Then a thought dawns on you that in your phone book there is still a number of an old friend of yours that you haven?t seen for years now. You know that if you call him and ask for help, he?ll wake up in the middle of the night, lean you all his money, give shelter even he has a family of six to keep. He helped you out in high school studies, provided term paper help, covered your back when you had some of your crazy affairs and never complained when he had been getting in trouble for his help. Being good in writing custom term papers he always seemed to fail his work to try his best to do your work. But there is also strange thing you remember; you didn?t really appreciate all his efforts to help you. They were so numerous that you started to take them for granted and didn?t even pay attention to what had been done for you. It was so weird to see that somebody was ready to help you out of willingness to make your life better, that it was hard to believe that it was so.
Than it was an inseparable part of your friendship. If you are a friend you have to give, do, make and so on. Friendship turned into an exploitation of a person who cares about you. Meanwhile you continue to have fun and relax with others and leave all the difficult things on your friend?s hands. Than suddenly you?ve stopped communicating. After all these years of true friendship your friend disappeared and there was no sign of him for a long time. ?Oh well, that wasn?t a big loss?, you think, and continue to live not even trying to find out what has happened. And now you are making a poor show every time you try to improve the situation. There is nobody beside you and you burst into curses, thinking about liars that surround you now. You dial a number of an old friend with shaking hand and pray for him to be there for you. You hear a familiar voice and start explaining, and ask to forgive at the same time. The situation goes back to normal. You feel that everything is going to be alright; your friend is coming to save the day. A minute later you sit in the kitchen drinking coffee and look in your friend?s wise worried eyes. At one moment you turn into a normal person from the idiot. Now you have your friend in your life again.
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So you want to know ?How to play the mega millions?. Learning is the simple part. Winning is definitely more complicated. We will attempt to teach you how to do both.
This lottery game is played by picking random numbers. There are five numbers that are drawn from a pool of numbers from one to fifty six. How to play the mega million you are required to pick a mega ball number from one to forty six. Different numbers are required in the five number combinations but the mega ball can be the same as any of the five numbers you have already picked.
How to play the mega million is to understand that it?s a nationwide game that is played in all but 9 states. Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, Alaska, and Hawaii do allow the Mega millions to played. Just because you live in one of these states doesn?t mean you can?t go to a state that does offer Mega millions and play.
Playing costs one dollar a play. Twenty seven million dollars was won in the very first Mega millions drawing so it is possible to win.
Ok, that?s the easy part. Now that you know how to play the mega millions, you want to know how you can increase your chances of winning. Some people believe it is pure luck and there is no way to increase your odds. Other people think that buying more tickets gives them a better chance. When learning how to play the mega millions, some quickly become convinced there are methods that can be used to increase their chances of winning at this game and others.
Developing these systems were the goal of professional lottery players. These systems are meant for players who know that picking winning numbers is not just luck. These players also don't mind sharing their secrets. There is so much money available in lottery games nationwide, they can give you help without lowering their own chances of winning.
Games have different strategies and playing lottery games is no different. That is why we offer different techniques that give different approaches to the same goal. In the game of golf, two players might have different way of playing the same hole. Success might come to both golfers. You have to decide what is best for you. These methods help you learn how to play the Mega millions successfully. The better player learns how to use different approaches to increase his odds of winning.
Some people don?t see the point of spending money on a system when they could use that money to buy more tickets. These systems are better thought of as lessons. A successful lottery player needs to keep taking lessons just as a golfer or tennis player would to keep up their skill level. Taking lessons can only help if you dedicate yourself to the task.
While we can?t guarantee you will win, we can say you will definitely increase your odds. How to play the Mega millions is for you asked for. You now have the knowledge. Put the odds in your favor by trying the methods we offer.
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Many of your recent checks might have been returned by the bank due to lack of funds. Sooner or later harassment will start from the company that has issued the credit card. You will also be forced to be selective in taking telephone calls for fear of getting payment reminders.
You find that the pay packet you have received is not sufficient to cover payments due. The importance of spending as per a proper budget will be realized by you only then. Sum guidelines are detailed below.
The general advice, when you have used up all the credits allowed in your card and you are finding it difficult to make payments is to stop using the card and give it up altogether. This step is not advisable, though it will look like the best option and the wise thing to do. Pay your dues retain the card and continue using it.
A credit card comes in handy when you find that your bank balance is not sufficient to cover your immediate expenses in your bank account. By not touching the money in the bank you can be free of being penalized by the bank for overdrawing. Credit card companied come forward with a number of reward schemes for prompt payments. These can be used for your future payments. Whatever, they are.
This is a very useful way of spending as per the budget.
You must differentiate between essentials and wishes. Avoid purchase of any nonessential items, even if you have strong desire to go for it.
It is a very difficult thing to maintain. Budgeting is all about being selective in expenditure. It should not be forgotten that this exercise becomes unfruitful if you cannot properly identify essentials.
You must have clear idea as to how much money you are making and how much comes to hand. The cardinal principle is to live within your means and trim your expenses accordingly.
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You'll never predict unexpected events, you should always have fireplace blowers and radiant heater ready at home.
They say the first step to beating an addiction is to admit that you have a problem.
Dealing with someone who has a gambling addiction can be painful. They have a tendency to withdraw from family and loved ones, so what are you supposed to do when someone you care about has developed a gambling addiction.
There are several things you will need to do and some of them are very hard to do.
The first thing you have to do is to hide all your valuables, and if this person lives with you, then you need to keep them behind locked doors and if that is not possible then take them to a bank and lock them in a safety deposit box.
If this person is you child or your spouse then you need to limit there access to your money. In many circumstances people have spent their family's savings and kid's college funds. So if at all possible try to get that persons name of the accounts if it is not already too late, and cancel all their credit cards.
At some point you will have to confront them. When you do confront them it is important to not yell and do not get angry just tell them how what they are doing affects you. Make sure that all the persons close friends are there to help with this.
It is important that everyone take turns and tell the person how his gambling has affected their relationships, but in a non angry, caring manner. This will help the person realize that the people that care about him see something that maybe he does not and hopefully will take an honest look at his gambling.
Remember the goal of confronting someone is not to make them stop gambling, it is to help them recognize they have a gambling problem and to encourage them to seek professional help.
Some people recommend that you try to get your friend to go to a gamblers anonymous meeting, but I do not recommend this. Gamblers Anonymous is a great organization that truly helps those with gambling problems stay away from gambling, but before you are ready for this most people need one on one sessions with a psychologist or a counselor trained to deal with gambling addiction.
After all is said and done, you must be prepared because most of the time the gambler continues to gamble, maybe they will make a brief attempt to stop before starting again in secret.
With most addictions the person with the problem needs to hit what they call a "bottom". This is when the gambler has lost everything that really meant anything to them, such as family and friends, and it is only at this point many will see the problem and seek help.
If you know someone who is unwilling to admit their gambling problem I recommend that after you have tried your best to get this person to seek help if they do not, you may have to be prepared to leave them, remember at some point you have to abandon a sinking ship before you go down as well.
To find more information on gambling addiction search gamblers Anonymous and
Codependence websites.
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How we view ourselves is a key to achieving happiness and self fulfilment.
Do not let a low self esteem ruin your life.
The way you think about yourself determines how you interact with others.
What are some examples of low esteem aspects in you mind that you need improvement on?1.
Nothing you do seems to go right2.
You believe that most people do not like you.
3.
You believe that you are not attractive.
4.
You choose something and it turns out to be the worst one.
5.
You are afraid to converse with others for fear that what you say might not make sense.
6.
You feel swallowed up in a whirlpool of frustration.
What?s wrong with you? Your thoughts, actually.
Stop thinking that the world is closing in on you.
Get determined to achieve what you desire.
Stop blaming other people for your misfortunes.
The world is not your problem, you are your own problem.
From this moment on, begin the process of self esteem improvement.
Think the right way and be determined to win, and win you will.
Just remember that success never comes easily and that is why determination is its counterpart.
Oftentimes, one gets to the brink of success and with just a little disappointment or setback, they lose heart and give up too easily and too soon.
A surefire candidate to low self esteem improvement.
Who knows what great things might have been achieved if only they had persevered.
Without a high self esteem, your life could be rather boring.
Change your thinking and begin to see yourself on top of the world.
Make a very special effort to be what you really want to be.
You have to seriously decide either to remain in a miserable state of low self esteem, or acquire self esteem improvement and develop a high self esteem with good character and self image.
The origin of low self esteem.
A low self esteem could begin way back in childhood when children are made to believe that they are worthless.
Their self confidence is eroded and they succumb to the idea that they can never achieve success in anything that they do.
They were picked on, laughed at, pushed around, called ugly names, and treated with disdain.
No wonder they grew up to be full of resentment.
If that was your experience, it is time you cut yourself loose from that mindset and do self esteem improvement.
Start reading about the life of successful persons and you will soon discover that many of them had such low self esteem that they could not even complete an elementary education.
Many decided to override their low self esteem and improve their attitude, whatever it took.
They became some of the greatest men and women that ever lived.
Low self esteem has never helped anyone else and it sure will not help you.
It can only drive you into depression, anger, grudge, fear and all the other evils that it generates.
Re-program your thinking and control your state of mind.
You must believe that you are worth much more than you think or you will remain at the foot of the ladder and never make an attempt to climb it.
Do not waste your life away with feelings of inadequacies.
Instead, think of ways to go about self esteem improvement.
Success is yours, just reach out and grasp it.
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What do employers consider when deciding on your compensation, your promotion or whether or not to keep you when the company is going through tough times? The first things considered are your performance and your attitude towards work. Employers need to see how you are an asset to the company. They need to see how you make your work relevant and how your contributions push the company forward. It's then very important that you win the trust and confidence of your employer in you at your job by showing pride in your work.
How you apply yourself at work
You more or less know what employers look for in their staff. They want reliable people who always deliver the goods and bring in the results they want. But how are these related to you and your value not just as an employee but as a person? When you value yourself as a person, regardless of your job, you will value any work you do to be important and the results will speak for you. On the surface, it seems any superior would look at how seriously you take your job but what really matters is how seriously you take yourself. It is clearly reflected in how you apply yourself at work regardless of your skill level.
Feel self-respect
Consider your talent, skills and knowledge in your job. These were evaluated before you were hired. You already know what can be expected from you. The question now is do you apply yourself enough to meet or even exceed those expectations? This is where having the right attitude makes a big difference. It's easy to say that falling short of expectations is due to loss of interest but really this is a self-defeating attitude. You have your reasons for staying in your job and these, believe it or not, have nothing to do with why it is good for you to show pride in your work. At the end of the day, the only question you have for yourself is on what you did with your time. When you know that you put yourself in everything you're supposed to do, you will genuinely feel self-respect whether or not your work is appreciated. Caring about what you do and how you get things done will earn you the right to say you did well.
Make good use of your time
You chose the job you have. You owe it to yourself to do well and make good use of your time. Showing pride in your work is not about getting rewards from your boss. It's about supporting yourself in the decisions you have made. You may or may not like your job, but you have decided to take it anyway. Show yourself the qualities of who you are in action, qualities that make you an asset to yourself and to any employer. Remember, there's no job big or small for someone who values honest work.
Conclusion: Showing pride in your work may come with a price and yet the rewards are helping you to build a better future for you and your family.
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The author grants full reprint rights to this article. You may reprint and electronically distribute this article so long as its contents remain unchanged, and the author's byline remains in place. Francis is the owner of trans-formers.com if you want more information on money and abundance in your life you can find it at: http://www.trans-formers.com/money-and-abundance.html
Is the one who's holding you back the most in your life, yourself? Our media tell us: "Be all you can be". We are brainwashed from a very young age. Get a good education, get a good job, get a great husband or wife, make the money, have a beautiful family, retire in comfort and then die surrounded by your loved ones.
Problem is, not everyone's life goes according to plan. Life's events get in the way. One thing you can't control is your very early years. You were at the mercy of those who raised you. So you were affected. You bring these memories and thoughts and feelings to bear in your adult life. This affects how you react to events and how you act as a social being.
One big mistake people make is thinking that they _are_ their feelings and memories.
By this I mean, you think that the phenomena of thoughts and feelings are the same as your inner self, your soul. I think of them as bubbles of gas rising up out of a deep pond or like flies buzzing around an elephant. The flies fly hither and thither in a very agitated manner but the elephant moves on slowly and inexorably towards its destiny.
It's important to realise that you are distinct from your thoughts and emotions. That your thoughts and emotions are affected by your bodily state and that they in turn affect your body. Consider what 40 years of constant anxiety and anger can do to a human body purely on a chemical level. The 'mind' affects the body and the body affects the 'mind'.
So what does this mean on a practical level?
It means that most people spend their sleeping and waking moments flitting from thought to thought and feeling to feeling without stopping occasionally to recollect themselves and refocus. This can make them ill.
Some facets of your life you can affect. Some are out of your control. With the latter, what you _can_ change is how you _react_ to these events.
So something bad happens. Say it's not something you can fix. You can let it bother you for days or let it go. The same goes for any continuous, distressing thoughts or emotions you have. Examine them in a detached manner, like a scientist, then imagine them dissolving into dust and nothingness, _as long as you are not imagining real people, living or dead_. You don't want to wish evil on others. It's wrong.
Modern psychologists and psychiatrists are making a grave error in telling their patients it's all right to continuously revisit negative thoughts, feelings and memories. This gives them energy and makes them stronger.
Consider what happens in your own mind, every day. Your current obsessions and old hurts come back over and over again. What's the clever move? To allot them more and more of your time and mental energy or just ignore them? As the descendents of hunter-gatherers we fret about problems as a way of fixing them. When you can't fix the problem then you have to let it go.
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Want to hear more? Go to www.onlinecounsellorlondon.co.uk and then 'phone Tommy. Tommy is an online life coach offering business advice from in London, UK.
Whoever first said that knowledge is power was probably selling encyclopedias. Knowledge is a tool, like money and influence. Tools are only powerful if they are used effectively. How, then, do you make a headful of knowledge into a powerful tool?
1. By seeing clearly what can be done.
2. By seeing clearly your own limitations.
3. By acting on what you know.
Wise Action, Not Knowledge, Is Power
Investors often learn so much that they think they can consistently predict the course of the stock market. In reality, there are probably fewer than ten old investors that have never lost money. Wise investors know that the best they can do is get the odds in their favor, so they'll have more wins than losses. You have to see the limitations of knowledge.
I can read about how to sing, and even get advice from a voice coach, but I can't sing well. I'm not saying that I could never sing well, only that right now I cannot. If I'm not willing to do what is necessary, then I would be wise to look for a non-singing way to make money. You have to see our own limitations.
The most important part of making knowledge into power, is to act. You can study political philosophy and every aspect of the political process for a decade, and still have no power. Power is in the effective application of what you know.
Imagine an inventor with a hundred ideas on paper. He has a head full of knowledge, and a creative imagination, but nothing to show for it. Now imagine a simple man with one new invention, who understands the limits of innovation without marketing, and sees his own limitations in that area. He seeks out the people that can help, and makes a million. Now that's power.
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The term "subliminal" refers to anything that exists just below your consciousness awareness i.e. at the subconscious level.
It has long been known that in order to create lasting measurable change in yourself it is necessary for you to access the subliminal or subconscious part of your mind. One excellent method of doing this is through the use of subliminal programming. By using subliminal recordings you can bypass the conscious mind and reprogram your inner mind through the use of carefully selected subliminal messages.
Subliminal messages can be constructed for a great many things like reducing stress, inducing relaxation, creating motivation , for better study habits, smoking cessation or losing weight, to name but a few!
The subliminal messages that are passed to your subconscious mind really do begin to change your thinking patterns and physical habits. So lets look at exactly how do their work.
Subliminal programs contain positive affirmations (subliminal messages) that are designed to help the listener achieve a change in a specific area they have chosen or to achieve a particular goal they have set. The physical brain receives these affirmations at a subconscious level and because there is no interference from the critical conscious mind the subconscious mind, which is where are beliefs and attitudes are stored, immediately begins the work of making the subliminal messages a reality in your life.
Subliminal messages accelerate the process of changing your attitudes because they bypass the analytical critical conscious mind and begin to reprogram the subconscious mind much like reprogramming a computer.
When subliminal messages, which are usually embedded in a piece of music or masked with ocean waves, are played, the beliefs that are stored in the subconscious mind are slowly and gently replaced by powerful new positive beliefs. It is an automatic and effortless method of changing yourself from the inside-out.
However, having said that, you should be aware that most of your subconscious programming has taken place over an entire lifetime and it is unlikely to be changed in a few hours or days. In addition you may have several issues that overlap and may require more than one subliminal recording to reprogram. A example my be self confidence issues. You may have low self esteem and listen to a subliminal recording to increase this area but find that after listening to it for several weeks you still lack self esteem. In such a case you would need to also ensure the subliminal confidence messages on the recording included self esteem affirmations or you could purchase/make two different subliminal recordings. However, I would advise getting a recording that helps to totally restructure your entire self image. This type of overlapping issue can apply to almost anything in life so real, true, honest introspection is needed to determine what area of your life needs changed before you decide which subliminal recordings and subliminal messages are right for your particular circumstances and needs.
Reprogramming of the subconscious mind takes time and you will usually see permanent results after about twenty-eight days. It is my rule of thumb to give all personal development tools at least a month before looking for real tangible results.
However, like all good self improvement techniques subliminal reprogramming can lead to initial irritation in some people as the subliminal messages being offered conflict with their established beliefs. In this instance the subconscious mind fights back in a vain attempt to keep the status-quo, it hates change. Remember that your beliefs and attitudes were programmed into your subconscious mind to protect you! If this happens don't be disheartened it is a sign that your new beliefs are taking hold and that change is happening. After you have made a few changes like this the subconscious mind gets the message and realises who is really the boss and the discomfort is unlikely to occur again if you decide to make more inner changes.
Subliminal reprogramming can be achieved through the use of subliminal CDs/tapes, videos/DVDs and it is even possible to purchase software that allows you to create your own custom subliminal recordings.
To those of you who are unsure of the effectiveness of subliminal messages I would ask this. Have you ever heard a piece of music in the morning without paying much attention to it yet had it in your head all day, perhaps even humming or singing it throughout your day? I bet you have! Have you ever been in a crowd totally unaware of all the conversations that were taking place until someone mentions your name? Are you also aware that you are receiving subliminal messages every day? The vast majority of advertising campaigns are filled with subliminal messages in the form of visual input designed to elicit a specific response from you.
Would it not be better to ensure the subliminal messages reaching your subconscious mind are of your choosing and that they are creating the person, life and circumstances you want? Yes? Then why not give them a try?
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He is a gifted man who was troubled by the trap of addiction. Life seemingly pronounced him dead and left him to deteriorate amongst the debris of the streets he called home for many years. Everything he owned in this world lay with him beneath a tent everyday and every night while praying to God for a second chance. His only resource was a sign he held in his hands that detailed his vision to all those who would read it.
No amount of trouble or hunger could diminish the "Please" and "Thank you" that accompanied every nickel and every dollar he received from the generosity of those that gave. He accredits his upbringing to maintaining his pleasant demeanor despite the needs and desperation that were bursting at the seams.
That sign that he held close to his heart caught the attention of a passerby who was the catalyst for change in this man's life which confirms why God asks us to write the vision and make it plain because we do not know who God may allow to read it. God had positioned this troubled man to meet with an opportunity that would carry him exceedingly above all that he had asked for and in return this man gave God the glory right on television for the world to hear.(Habakkuk 2:2-3)(Ephesians 3:20)
This man's name is Ted Williams but you can call him a shining example of what God's mercy and love can do in the heart and mind of those that believe in God and call on his name. Many of us have been waiting and waiting for God to show up in our situation and grant us our petitions and I am inspired today to believe that God is able.
Mistakes and bad choices have the ability to make us believe that life is over. The grays in our hair, the limp in our stride, and the cracks in our heart can tempt us to feel as though it is too late to dream and believe but...he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6.
Though homeless and wearing many mistakes underneath his belt, Ted Williams never stopped praying and believing that God could and would make a way. A lot of us are not where we thought we would be by now and some of our prayers seem to go unheard but let us all be rejuvenated as we witness through Ted Williams testimony that in this gigantic world where billions of people resided God saw fit to see about a man laying by the wayside that had a magnificent gift since birth that laid doormat. He picked that man up, dusted him off, and placed his feet on solid ground. God allowed his gift to make room for him so that he would never have to beg for another dime again. God sees us no matter where we are in life and he has not forgotten. It is NEVER TOO LATE.
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Nicole Brodie is an inspirational writer.
Whether it?s called stress management, relaxation training, or its newest incarnation, ?Resiliancy,? it seems that the question of healthy response to the stress of daily life is on everyone?s mind. But it?s important to remember a few things about stress that are rarely discussed?if known at all!
1) Stress won?t hurt you. Hans Selye, the ?father of stress? was a polylinguist, whose first language was not English. Before he died, he said that, had his command of English been more precise, he would have been known as the ?Father of Strain? rather than stress. What?s the difference? Enormous, from an engineering standpoint. Stress is pressure divided by unit area, whereas strain is measured in deformation per unit length. In other words, while strain speaks to the load you are carrying, strain deals with the degree to which that load warps you out of true. In other words, it is NOT stress that hurts you. It is strain.
2) Stress is necessary for life and growth. Far from being something you avoid, when healthy, the body and mind respond to environmental stress by becoming stronger. Look at this in the arena of physical fitness. Imagine a triangle with each of the three corners having a different designation: Stress, nutrition, and rest. Stress equals exercise, nutrition equals the foods taken in before and after the exercise, and rest equals?well, rest. If you have either too much or too little of any of these, the body breaks down. Note that astronauts in orbit must be very careful to stress their bodies daily with stationary bicycles and other apparatus: zero gravity decreases stress to the point that the bones literally begin to lose calcium. The truth is that, in life, we are rewarded largely for how much stress we can take without breaking. The intelligent approach is to both reduce unnecessary stress and to increase our ability to handle healthy stress without straining.
3) Come of the best research comes from our former enemies! Russian research into the body-mind dynamic has produced valuable results. They figure that any physical technique has three aspects: Breath, Motion, and Structure, and that these three are dependant upon one another. Stress ?dis-integrates? this structure as it morphs into strain. The first to be disturbed is almost always breathing. This is the reason that martial arts, yoga, Sufi Dancing and so many other disciplines can use the physical as a vehicle for spiritual transformation. As we learn to handle greater and greater amounts of stress with grace, we naturally evolve to higher levels of integration and performance. It is our birthright.
4) It doesn?t take years to learn proper breathing techniques. Seek out a Chi Gung, yoga, or Tai Chi teacher and say you want to learn proper belly breathing. A good teacher can convey the basics of this critical skill in an hour or less.
5) You don?t have to meditate for an hour a day to get the benefits. While it?s fabulous to spend two twenty minute sessions a day, massive benefits can be gained with just five minutes a day. Here?s the trick: it?s not five minutes all at one time, it?s five one minute sessions spaced through the day. At every hour divisible by 3: 9, 12, 3, 6, and 9, simply stop and breathe properly for sixty seconds. You can do this while walking down the street, or sitting in a business meeting. The important thing is to learn a proper technique, and to practice it briefly, and correctly. This single act will improve posture, energy, digestion, and turn stress into high performance. Five minutes a day?it will seem a pain at first, but once you?ve got the hang of it, it?s the best 300 second investment you?ll ever make!
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Even in today's economy there is always money and resources available for those with a definite purpose. Success then, is a choice. It all begins with the power to imagine.
The iPad, Chevy Volt, and streaming video all began in the imagination of some person.
Even in times of economic uncertainty there will be those who defy participating. And what will be the key ingredient? Imagination and purpose.
It's good to know that the imagination, like a flower, can be cultivated, nurtured and grown. Before any thought becomes a reality, it is birthed in the imagination.
Whatever your status, background, successes and failures, you can develop your imagination. You must make a choice, a solitary declaration, to be a success. But, you need not go it alone. Once you make that commitment to financial abundance, co-operation from others will appear.
Here's a golden nugget to attract co-operation: do more than what's paid for. Focus on making yourself useful, efficient and desirable.
Begin by imagining you at your very best. What do you look like? How do you carry yourself? What things do you know? What is your character?
Successful people have the ability to correct mistakes, change courses, and admit shortcomings. The past does not always equal the future. It starts by looking in the mirror and getting real. Accept the fact that your life is of your creation. That's a powerful, mind blowing concept.
Then, seek out those that have the qualities you desire; even if it's only in a book. Use your imagination and then act on it.
Success in acquiring money and abundance is achievement of a definite major purpose without violating the rights of others. Money is simply a tool, a means of exchange. What is it ultimately that you desire that wealth bring? Once you know that, my friend, you'll know your definite major purpose.
Now use your imagination and get it!
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Some people have a difficult time in managing their anxieties and fears. In addition, a person?s self esteem and self-confidence can also suffer. As a result, here is a list of techniques a person can use to help manage their anxieties, fears, and self esteem.
Remember that practice makes perfect. Whenever it comes to dealing with your anxieties or any other task; practice, patience, and persistence is the name of the game. If you don?t get the desired results the first time around, then keep trying until you do get the results. Through practice, you will become better at the task at hand and your self-confidence will increase. This also applies to managing your anxieties.
In every anxiety-related situation you experience, begin to learn what works, what doesn?t work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a walk to help you feel better. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a walk. This will give you the confidence to manage your anxiety the next time around.
Sometimes, we can get anxious over a task that we will have to perform in the near future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that you?re playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation and increase your self-confidence.
Don?t forget to Pray and ask God for help. A person can only do so much. Asking God for help can give us additional resources to help manage our fears and self-confidence. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.
Write down on a list everything that you are thankful for. Do not take anything for granted. The next time you feel down, take out your list and review everything that you have listed. This is a great way to remind us of what we have.
As a layman, it can be difficult to manage our anxieties and self-esteem. If you have trouble then talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears, anxieties and self esteem. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. In the meantime, remember to take it one day at a time.
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When you reflect on your past relationships, you might discover that the people you spent time with over the years have made a great impact on your attitude, preferences and beliefs. Whether you understand these influences to be positive or negative aspects in your life, you need to endeavor to comprehend them before you can deal with them in a concrete fashion.
You might be surprised to find yourself thinking of individuals you have not seen or spoken to in a long time. The nostalgia you sense while reminiscing can put you in a contemplative mood. This can be an auspicious time to reflect upon your past relationships to determine how they impacted the path you have taken. You may discover individuals, who were in your life briefly, however, made a large-scale impression upon you; or that you have followed a path similar to a close relative. If you sense that you have been unduly influenced by some people, your reflection can help you decide how to proceed.
When you see clearly how others have shaped your beliefs and character, you are empowered to decide if you want to continue living in the manner you were taught or that you discover it no longer serves you and it is time to change.
When you identify specific influences, you can embrace or eradicate them as benefits for your individual needs and desires. You can channel your nostalgia into your evolutionary endeavors when you are willing to look back on your past and act accordingly in your best interest.
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Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Metaphysician - Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Author and Speaker. Dr. Dorothy facilitates clearing blocks, fears and limiting beliefs. You can live the life you desire. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net
You may have met people as co-workers or bullies that are very difficult to get along with other people. But this does not mean that it is impossible to get along with when you know them.
Under normal circumstances interacting with such people who are very difficult to get along with unless you just swallow your pride and do not get mad. But there is more to this than just humbling yourself and charging at the issue.
People have been taught how to deal with such people either by just preparing themselves while others have been taught to smile at them. But smiling is more preferred because as you smile there is a positive angle.
It may feel contrary to what common sense dictates but smiling may be an easy way to start the interaction. Give the person an honest smile not just showing your teeth like a predator. Think about what part of them you like while smiling and they could end up smiling back.
Though it may demand a lot from yourself you have to remember that they are not evil any way. Once you dig past their surface you may be amazed by what you find.
Try to do something that no one or not many have done by trying to get along with such people become the exception to the rule it is easy to dislike Peter because he is arrogant and abrasive than try liking him.
Know that he just trying to deal with a little more than he can handle. He is new in this place and the people make him to be nervous. And he is arrogant because he feels insecure.
When you know why he is behaving the way he does he cease to be the exaggerated portrait to you. And in turns become a rear human with concerns. One finds it hard to hate someone he or she understands where they are coming from. But when you do not understand that it's very easy to hate but that does not help. All it takes is a little patience and heart to look past whatever they show on the surface to find out who they really are.
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It's one of those days. You make a passionate speech. Then, your mood is dashed as the audience lobs contradiction and rebuttal. You walk away dejected.
Hours later the perfect counter-reply pops into your brain. You groan. Why in the world didn't you think of that earlier??? You could just kick yourself in the butt.
Stop for a moment, and consider how many times this happened to you. Once? Twice? A dozen times?
People throw us zingers everyday. We deflate, especially when we fail to come up with a PROMPT defense.
Consider the following nasties that wreck our day:
"You're late again. You don't love me."
"That's lousy work; you're no good."
"Why are all you religious people so narrow minded?"
"If you love me you'll have sex with me. Since you refuse, you don't love me."
Don't you wish you had the perfect answers to these seemingly daunting questions?
As you read this and recall the countless frustrations you've faced, you naturally begin to wonder why there are some special people who always come up with the right answers. You've met them. The perfect debaters. The unstoppable negotiators. The superb orators.
Pocket that frown. You too can be an Aristotle . It just takes deploying the right tools. With proper semantic implements, you CAN be a master negotiator. You CAN manhandle arguments with ease. No longer will you say, "I wish I said xxxx when she told me that!"
The Sidewinder Method to countering arguments: THE PRINCIPLE OF SPECIFICITY
An argument, retort or remark can always be broken down into its constituent parts. By examining the innards of any statement, we often can identify logical lapses, semantic ambiguities and rational failures. This makes a statement VULNERABLE to counter attack.
Now, pause, take a deep breath , and etch this phrase into your brain:
"HOW SPECIFICALLY DOES...."
This is your first line of defense to ANY attack thrown your way. With such deft counter strike, you force the antagonist to examine his own statement. If his retorts are based on shaky evidence, he will see it almost instantly. Wait for his answer. Listen well. Then fire volley after volley of "How specifically does xxx " to each response. A chain of evidence will be needed to support his remarks. Without evidence, he will yield the high ground.
Why does the line "HOW SPECIFICALLY DOES..." work so well? It's because most people open their mouths without thinking! They say meaningless things that can be ripped to shreds after close scrutiny.
I urge you: have people back up their statements with concrete evidence. Questions of specificity unearth the evidence... or lack of it. This is your first step to achieving the skill of Objection Mastery.
Theory class over. Let's see some examples.
She says to you: You're late again. You don't love me. Ooohh nasty. How do you counter this with questions of specificity?
Tell her: "HOW SPECIFICALLY DOES MY BEING LATE INDICATE THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU?"
She says, "It means you don't care."
Tell her, "How, precisely do you know I don't care for you? My tardiness has good reason. I was tardy because I went out of my way to get you four dozen blue roses at a spot just out of town. I also made sure the kids were properly left with a responsible guardian so we won't have to worry about them tonight. And most importantly, I wanted to ensure that the restaurant we are going to is ready for us. That's why I was late. I wanted our evening to be perfect."
Let's try the other venomous barb now.
Your colleague says: That's lousy work; you're no good.
So you smile and firmly ask, " What precisely is the 'lousy' work you pertain to?"
He says, "You submitted the plan to Marketing for execution without consulting me. That's sloppy and in violation of SOP"
So you hold your breath and say, "How specifically, is being proactive in violation of SOP and sloppy work? I noticed you were busy with the accounting and had no time to concern yourself with branding issues. I simply offloaded tasks that would have rattled you and diminished your focus on your more crucial assignment."
He says, "I still should have been consulted. I want my inputs in whatever the team does. "
You say, "That's precisely why we are talking right now. Your inputs will always be welcome. Marketing can always modify their agenda since they're still in the process of integrating the programs."
He says, "I still feel left out. I don't like it."
You say, "How precisely are you left out? If it's influencing the final campaign, don't worry: you are the program manager. You will have a say even during final phase execution. The boss knows that we equally share the glory of the project's success. And the team looks up to you as their mentor. Surely you've noticed the pile of progress reports already in you inbox."
He says "Well, ok.... now that you put it that way, I gues you did a fine job"
Now let's try one of those lines we hear in teenybopper movies: "If you love me you'll have sex with me. Since you refuse, you don't love me."
Difficult to counter? Definitely not, with your standard phrase!!
Say, "HOW SPECIFICALLY does my desire not to have sex right now mean that I don't love you? You do realize that I love you so much which is why I want us to be perfectly prepared for all complications. I love you so much that I want to minimize the risk of unexpected childbirth. This is how much I love you."
So there you have it. The first technique to masterful objection mastery. Let's not put good theory to waste, shall we? Go grab a partner and practice. Have her throw argumentative remarks at you. Think briefly then counter with Questions of Specificity. See how long they can hold up. Just say "How specifically does..."
Smile and watch them fold.
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Thinking and speaking positively are concepts that are age old. Proverbs 23:7 in the Bible mentions how a person is how they think. In the study human sciences there is a theory called cognitive behavioral therapy, which teaches people to think and speak themselves into mental health. Self-help professionals, mental health professionals, and spiritual leaders do not always agree on concepts, but this is one that they often times share. Why? It actually works. I am not going to go into more than saying that thoughts and words are energy and spirit that can be manifested into deeds. There is a bunch of information out there to explain it further, and I encourage you to study the practices. For now I will give it to you in a simple, usable manner.
Thinking positively works in conjunction with speaking and acting positively. Although it may seem impossible to control your thoughts, it isn't. The secret is awareness. First you need to take inventory of your thoughts. If you find that you think negatively often, begin to stop yourself mid-thought. Think the word Stop! Or instantly replace the negative thought with a more hopeful thought. If you continually use this process, you will begin to notice a change in your thought patterns.
Think positively to shape and reinforce what you say and how you act. Once your thoughts are working in harmony with your words and actions you will see growth in all areas of your life including your love relationship.
Words are very meaningful! Do not take lightly what you let flow from your lips. Your words shape and reinforce how you think and act. If you are constantly speaking negative words you are forming negative actions, feelings, and experiences for yourself. If you are constantly saying things like "there are no good men", "I can't put up with a man's crap", or "I don't know who would want me", don't be surprised when you find yourself in a relationship with a man who is a non-committal, untrustworthy, deceitful, and who brings a huge amount of drama.
Become committed to speaking positively in all aspects of your life. Speak positively about yourself, your health, your man, and your relationship; you will receive good things in return.
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Brooke Brimm has a Master's degree in Professional Counseling and 8 years of experience in the field of Human Science. She has been married since 1993 and has two beautiful daughters. Ms. Brimm authors an ezine, Loves Gumbo, in which she discusses love, relationships, and friendships in today's society. Visit http://lovesgumbo.com
You will want to share something with someone today.
Actually, with at least two people.
One person that you know very well.
And one person that you do not know well at all, and also needs to hear from you today.
The one you know well needs to hear from you right now.
The one you do not know at all will become evident to you when you meet them today for the first time as you go about your day.
By sharing this message with both of them, you will also receive the message - which is exactly why you must share the message with them first.
The message is one of HOPE.
Hope is the feeling that what you want to happen... will happen.
It's what keeps us going when we feel overwhelmed with problems, frustrations, and situations that seem insurmountable to us at the moment.
And I am sharing HOPE with you right now.
HOPE that what you want to happen... will happen.
It's kind of like shining a flashlight on a dark and unknown path so you can more easily see the way to go.
It's like opening the door that seems too heavy for you to open it alone.
It's like giving a word of encouragement to someone who is having trouble solving a problem and under such stress they cannot see their situation clear enough to take that first step forward without your help.
Right now, call that someone you know and give them HOPE.
And throughout your day today, be on the lookout for that someone you don't know, who needs HOPE and shine a light on their path too.
By shining a light of HOPE on their path, you will shine the light of HOPE on your own journey's path too.
- - -
Mark Hendricks is a business and marketing expert; sales copywriter; a joint venture specialist; software developer; and author, speaker, consultant, mentor, and success coach.
You can visit his websites at:
http://www.internet-success-system.com
http://www.hunteridge.com
http://www.market-soft.com
http://www.swiftkickinthebutt.com
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?Do not think of a dog.?
Immediately, an image of a dog will appear in your mind when you read the word ?dog?. This is a classic example of framing. Framing is widely used, especially by politicians, as it is considered to be among the most powerful persuasion techniques.
Why is framing so powerful? Simply put, the technique of framing is a covert persuasion technique, meaning that it affects the target subconsciously, without the target ever realising it. With this in mind, I would strongly advise you to use this for ethical intentions only.
What is framing? Framing refers to the presentation of an option in different formats that can affect the decisions of people. For example:
Two drugs have been invented to save the lives of cancer patients. The drugs have been offered to 500 patients. Drug A is able to save the lives of 200 patients while the use of Drug B carried a possibility that 60% of the 500 patients will die.
Will you choose A or B?
I believe that you will most likely choose Drug A. The above scenario was actually the subject of an experiment by psychological researchers to study whether framing will affect one?s decision. 78% of the subjects chose Drug A while only 22% chose Drug B regardless of the fact that with both scenarios, the same number of patients (200 patients) could be saved!
Why is this so? Drug A presented a positive frame (200 patients can be saved) while Drug B presented a comparatively negative one (60% of the 500 patients may die). Subconsciously, we will weigh the risks and we perceive Drug A to look safer than Drug B. In fact, both drugs have the exact same result.
Framing impacts people, because individuals perceive losses and gains differently, as illustrated in prospect theory by psychologists Amos Tversky & Daniel Kahneman. The prospect theory illustrates an important underlying factor to framing: a loss is more devastating than the equivalent gain is gratifying. This means that when faced with two choices, people tend to choose the one that is presented more positively (e.g. benefits are stated) rather than the one that is presented more negatively (e.g. potential losses or harmful effects are stated), even though the choices may have the same results.
Politicians use framing all the time to persuade people to trust them. Do the following sound familiar to you?
Politician: ?At least 20,000 people have found a job in the last year?
Instead of
Politician: ?15.1 million people are still unemployed in the United States?
By emphasizing on the positives instead of the negatives, the government cleverly manipulates the situation to get the people to have faith in them and remain loyal to them.
You need not be a politician to exercise framing on other people. In fact, framing can be used by anyone, at anywhere and anytime. It can even be used in circumstance like this:
You: Do you want to watch Hurt Locker or Avatar?
Friend: Which movie is better?
You: Avatar had grossed over $2.6 billion over the globe while Hurt Locker only won a few awards.
Friend: Hmm. I think we shall watch Avatar.
In this circumstance, you had used the technique of framing to affect your friend?s mind. By showing that Avatar had grossed more than $2.6 billion worldwide and Hurt Locker only winning few awards, your friend will perceive that Avatar will be a better movie since it attracted so many people to watch it. (In fact, Hurt Locker won the Oscar Best Picture award).
Have fun trying this technique out! I hope it works for you!
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By: Vincent Kyle Ng
Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com
Vincent Kyle Ng is the founder of a website ( www.thesecretofpersuasion.com ) that aspires to help others by giving advice and information on the latest strategies in the fields of persuasion, influence, public speaking, relationships and much more.
Arguing - what's it good for? Arguments are rarely "won." When you think you won an argument, what did you win? The "loser" at least learned something, right? But what did you get? Debating practice, ego satisfaction, and diminished brain power.
Arguing Diminishes Brain Power?
At times things need to be debated, but most of the time, it just isn't productive. You may want to argue the point, but what do you get from a useless debate, and more importantly, what do you lose? I say you lose effective brain power.
There is at least one thing we can probably agree on. That is that a person listening to arguments can learn something from both sides. Now what about the participants? When your opponent makes a really good point, do you say, "Hey, you're right!" and learn something, or do you more often just look for a better argument?
You see, arguing too much gets you in the habit of looking for arguments more than for truth. You get deeper into a rut the more you defend a position, because any hint of opposing evidence is pushed away as a threat to your "victory" or correctness. Ii being in a rut and ignoring the truth doesn't sound like it's good for brain power, it's because it isn't.
Brain Power From Listening
Say the moon is closer, and if I say the sun is, one of us has to be right. On the other hand, if you say nurture is more important, and I say nature is, we're both sort of right. That's because the first argument has clearly defined terms. This isn't common in most arguments (and what's the point of arguing with someone who thinks the sun is closer?).
The second argument has to do with values, experiences, and poorly defined terms. We've seen different things in life, and we could spend a lifetime arguing the definition of "important." Alternately, I could shut up and listen. In this case my mind becomes more powerful with the addition of your ideas and knowledge. Listening is the better way.
How do you break the habit of arguing? Start by purposely asking for people's opinions, and listen without saying anything. Ask them to clarify, but don't offer one contrary idea. If you do this enough, you'll be surprised at how much you learn. You may also be surprised by how difficult this simple technique can be, but it works. Tell me I'm wrong, and I may just listen to what you say without arguing.
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Why do you dream?
The precise function of dreaming when we sleep is still a matter of disputation among scientists and dream researchers. One accepted theory holds that dreams are a way for the subconscious mind to rinse out itself and make sense of the sensory inputs gotten during the daytime where you were awake. Another accepted theory is that dreams are a sort of let go valve. For example, a lot of people hold back or repress their feelings of anger and dislike during the day. The theory says that dreams are a practical and safe outlet for those repressed feelings to be express.
Can dreams tell the future?
At the same time as many people feel that their dreams can tell the future, there is no scientific proof that dreams are foretelling. What a lot of people mistake for prediction may actually be the fact that the subconscious mind notices things that go totally unnoticed by the conscious mind. When you sleep and dream, the stuff noticed by the subconscious mind is included into the dream, and you may notice many things you missed during the day. These unnoticed clues may be misinterpreted as predictions of what is to come in the future, but in fact they were just missed clues to present events.
Do you dream every night?
Yes you do dream every night, whether you can remember your dreams or not. The dreams that you most likely can remember are the ones that take place closest to waking.
How many dreams do you have in a night?
On average you have between four and seven dreams per night. And 15% to 20% of the typical night is spent sleeping, and consequently an eight hour night of sleep will have up to two hours of dreaming in it.
The stages of your sleep.
It takes you anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes to reach a sleep state, that is deep enough for dreaming. In the final and deepest stage of you sleep you will cycle in and out of REM sleep. The average session of REM sleep lasts from 10 to 20 minutes, after which you cycle back into the deepest stage of sleeping. And then after a while, you will reenter REM sleep again. Each session of REM sleep will contain its own unique dream.
Do children dream about themselves?
The interesting thing to note here is that children normally do not dream about themselves until they reach the age of three. Children younger than three are not characters in their own dreams. This may explain why most children do not develop a strong sense of self until the age of three.
Do children?s dreams have the same meaning as adult dreams?
In most cases, dreams are a reflection of your concerns and experience of the awake and conscious world. Because those concerns and experiences are different in children than in adults, the differences are most likely reflected in the child?s dream as well. Studies have shown that the dreams of young children do not have either strong emotional content or a real storyline. A child between the age of 3 and 7 are frequently troubled by nightmares. These nightmares are often reflections of their own real world fears. Like noises, monsters, and so on. The dreams of older children or teenagers very much match those experienced by adults.
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Many people do not think that counselling is for them. Hover, there is evidence to show that it can help a lot of people.
Think about an occasion when you have had something on your mind. It can be going around and around and you are not sure what the best solution is or you just cannot stop thinking about something which has happened recently or in the past. Many us often find ourselves in this situation.
How many people have then gone to friend or family member and talked things through with them? It can make things seem so much better, even if they do not come up with any helpful advice, it can still help to clarify your thoughts, just by talking to someone about things.
Not all of us have someone that we can open up to. Sometimes our friends or family are too busy and sometimes we have no one that close. It can be that our friends and family seem to need us more than we need them and so do not give us an opportunity to talk. Other times, we feel that problem is so personal, that we do not want someone we know hearing it. In these situations it can be really helpful to get a counsellor to help. Having a stranger who is there to listen, can be amazingly helpful. They will not judge you or comment on what you have done but just allow you to talk and get things off your mind.
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Self esteem is something I believe that we would all like to have but when you have some powerful addiction one of the first things you lose is your self esteem.
None of us like to think we are addicted to something and are adamant that we are in complete control, only doing what we do because we so enjoy it and that giving it up would be so easy ? it?s just that we don?t want to give it up isn?t it?!!!
There are many different type of addictions such as alcohol, drugs, overeating, sex, perfectionism ? the list could go on and on and we all think that one addiction is worse than another ? well that is not really the case ? each addiction affects the self esteem and well being of the affected person and probably their loved ones and family as well.
Once the person faces up to the fact that they do have a problem, and that is most certainly the first stage, then they might seek some form of professional help ? now I am not knocking these professionals because I truly believe that they do a great job but unless you reach the inner being of the person I truly believe that it is only a matter of time before that person who was supposedly cured starts all over again with their addiction ? that is why you see people who?ve been stopped smoking for many years and those who have not touched a drop of alcohol suddenly start again.
How do I know this? ? well I reckon I?m pretty much an expert in the field of addiction to alcohol and cigarettes ? they were such an important party of my life for so many years and when I finally admitted I had a huge problem I took all the help I could find, some of it I even paid for. I did well for almost one year but boy was it hard and I soon started again this time with such a vengeance that it caused my business and marriage breakdown and I found myself living in a mobile home on my own with drink being my only companion.
What happened to me on that day in December 2002 was nothing short of a modern day miracle ? overnight, and I mean overnight I stopped both drinking and smoking, have never touched either of these but more importantly NEVER EVER have had the desire for these in the slightest. A few months later I was reunited with my wife and children and couldn?t be happier with my life if I was to win the lottery ? I wouldn?t swap this inner peace and complete happiness that I have for anything in this world.
I just had to write about what happened on that day which is what I have done in the hope that the same release from powerful addictions can become a reality for others who are living their lives addicted to something in the same way I was ? the difference it makes is incredible and I just hope and pray that you can all find the release and subsequent inner peace and contentment that I?ve now got, I really do.
A recent testimonial, exerts of which are included below, show just why I want this book to reach and touch people who are looking for what I?ve found.
I LAVISHED your book. My life was in shambles; my wife had divorced me and tonight I was in such a state of despair that I had rung my Mother to tell her that suicide was my only option - after reading your book I have a peace about me that I have not had since I was 19 and I'm 56 now. Thank you thank you for allowing God to speak through you to me - I now feel a complete relief from all the pain and misery I have known for the past 37 years and I thank you for saving my life - actually GOD SAVED MY LIFE but you threw me the life preserver - may God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry.
Roy Thompson, Atlanta, Georgia - royjrthompson@bellsouth.net
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